That's My Baby!

Yes Sir....That's My Baby!

So sweet, so lovable, so innocent, so adorable. . .
but what are they REALLY thinking ? !

Yes, I believe I WOULD like a little nightcap!	That was the TWIST ... Now let me show you the WATUSI.	Now, THAT'S a babysitter!
I think I swallowed my pacifier...	I had them walking the floor all night long!	Harry, don't talk like that in front of the baby.
Don't call me. I'll call you.	Real GUSTO!	Where's MY olive?
Our group had 44% fewer cavities!	All THAT was in the contract I signed?	Really, Officer, I was only doing 25!
This has REALLY been a bad day!	I'm learning the Macarena.	Want to see MY tattoo?
But, I'm not READY to go to bed!	OBJECTION OVERRULED!	I'll bet you say that to all your granddaughters...
You want to play PIGGIES WENT TO MARKET? Use your own PIGGIES!	Photographs by Josef A. Schneider	Well, that's a heck of a way to take a guy's temperature!

Life's Reminders

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes.
If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

The Bathroom Door is Closed!

Attention Children
The Bathroom Door is Closed!

Please do not stand here and talk,
whine, or ask questions.

Wait until I get out.

Yes, it is locked. I want it that way.
It is not broken, and I am not trapped.

I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.

Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

Do not go running back to the phone yelling "She's in the BATHROOM!"

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two.

Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.

And yes, I still love you.

Mom

~ ~ I'm not sure who wrote this, but every Mommy has been there. ~ ~

Rules of the Bath

Wash
Brush
Flush

Children are Kites

from: Erma Bombeck

You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.

You run with them until you are both breathless.

They crash. They hit the rooftop.

You patch and comfort, adjust and teach.

You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday, they will fly.

Finally, they are airborne; They need more string and you keep letting it out;

But with each twist of the ball of twine, There is a sadness that goes with joy.

The kite becomes more distant and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar, free and alone.

Only then do you know that you did your job.

The Clothesline

The Clothesline

A clothesline was a news forecast
To neighbors passing by.
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the fancy sheets
And towels on the line;
You'd see the company table clothes
With intricate design.

The line announced a baby's birth
To folks who lived inside
As brand new infant clothes were hung
So carefully with pride.

The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed
You'd know how much they'd grown.

It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;
Then night-clothes, and a bathrobe, too,
Haphazardly were strung.

It said, "Gone on vacation now"
When lines hung limp and bare.
It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare.

New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy gray,
As neighbors raised their brows,
And looked disgustedly away.

But clotheslines now are of the past
For dryers make work less.
Now what goes on inside a home
Is anybody's guess.

I really miss that way of life.
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line!

~ Author Unknown ~