Forever Young

Whooptee doo watch us go Look out world we meet below Flying in this snow white stuff Landing softly on our duffs Isn't it so great to ride Perfect day for feeling pride Doesn't matter what our age Every moment we have staged Doing this for years and years Laughed so much we shed some tears So don't you worry we'll get by Sliding down this old hillside Don't you fret we got this made For years and years this path is paved So button up and sit real tight Watch us go with such delight Watch out world we're coming through This entertainment just for you Soon you'll learn and won't forget Life can never have regrets So we are both just young at heart Daring and pure works of art Whopptee doo and Whopptee dee You're never too old ~ just wait and see. ~ Francine Pucillo ~ Copyright Jan 20, 2004 used with permission  Also see http://www.ewa.bicom.pl

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What The Children Heard

We all know that children and adults don't look at the world the same way. Well, it seems they don't HEAR the same, either. You're sure to get a chuckle out of some of these favorite old Christmas carols, as sung by the children: "On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me a partly gingerbread tree..." "Later on, we'll perspire, as we drink by the fire...." "He's making a list, chicken and rice...." "Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel; Barney's the King of Israel...." "Felice never died, Felice never died..." "Olive, the other reindeer...." "Sleep in heavenly peas......" "In the meadow we can build a snowman, And pretend that he is parched and brown...." "Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, The little Lord Jesus laid down his swing set..." "You'll go down in Listerine..." "Oh come, froggy faithful..." "Oh what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap, and hay...." "Round young birds in mother and child...." "As shepherds washed their socks by night... And, a new one added this year by my very own grandson (age 5): "Four college birds, three french hens, two purple doves, and a partridge in a pear tree"  Author Unknown by me

 

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Lessons From Rudolph

"7 Things Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Can Teach Us About Life"  Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is just a plain exciting story (and fun, too).  Of course, you've got Rudolph (the underdog). You've got Rudolph's dad, Donner (a little full of himself, won't ever show weakness father) You've got the monster, the Abominable Snowman (Bumble who "bounces") And you've got the rag tag team that comes together, including Hermey the Elf (aspiring dentist) and Yukon Cornelius (explorer extraordinaire), to overcome all odds And there are just a whole lot of lessons that can be gained from this cast of characters as it has to do with real life (even though it's just a cartoon) (1) We all have our "flaws." It's how we respond to them that matters. (2) Don't write off the odd ball. He just might be pulling the sleigh one day.   (3) There's nothing like having a guy that's good at extractions when you need to pull teeth (tame the monster). (4) Covering up a "problem" is never the best way of dealing with it. (5) Feeling like a "misfit" helps us to empathize with (care about) "misfits."  (6) Even Santa (the "boss" or upper management) can learn a lesson or two.  (7) Everybody enjoys a good story with a happy ending. (Don't we?) Overall these lessons pretty much say it all afterall... and enjoy the movie!! 1. Acceptance is necessary. The main theme of Rudolph is accepting others’ differences. When Rudolph was born, no one else had a red nose. Once his dad found out about his nose, Rudolph was taught to hate his nose. His dad, Donner, covered his nose with dirt. His friends at the reindeer school made fun of him. Even Santa didn’t understand his nose. The final straw was when Donner and Comet, the reindeer coach, basically stated that Rudolph was a disappointment. That’s mighty heavy for what’s supposed to be a kids’ movie. 2. Find value in being different. Another character who had trouble fitting in was Hermey the Elf. Hermey, poor thing, is the only elf who doesn’t want to go with the hive-mind mentality of his fellow elf friends. He hates making toys; he just wants to be a dentist! But everyone in his world doesn’t understand him. Like Rudolph, he’s thought of as being a disappointment just because he doesn’t want to go with everyone else’s flow. He wants to go against the stream. 3. Find your tribe. Eventually, Rudolph and Hermey, who have both left home after being ousted by their respective groups, make it to the Island of Misfit Toys. Like Rudolph and Hermey, the toys have been cast aside because they were defective in some way. But even though they’re licking their wounds and want to be a part of Santa’s sleigh, they have created an ecosystem for themselves. By supporting each other, they helped each other keep the hope of one day being gifted to a child. Special thanks to Emmett Brennan, for sharing these important lessons More Lessons From: HerViewFromHome, 22 Life Lessons Learned from the TV special; "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" By Corinne H.

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Twinkle Toes

I’m your Berry Christmas Fairy, My name is “Twinkle Toes”! I live in frosty places, And anywhere there’s snow. You may have seen me dancing, Thru frosty morning air, Or felt my gentle kiss as the wind picked up your hair. I’m sent to wish you greetings Of the berry fairest kind, To let you know you’re loved, And you’re on someone’s mind! Have a Fairy Berry Christmas, And in case you didn’t know, I’m your Berry Christmas Fairy, My name is “Twinkle Toes”! Denise Lanford © 2004 pokeyofthecove2@bellsouth.net

Visit my Archived Full Page Greeting here

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Xfactor Awareness Tibute to Children

Oh Those Rejects

It's that time of year again To bring the reject's out Help me to remember I hid them all about Aunt Lula's vase so out of place No matter where I chose for it On the mantel, on a shelf It just never seemed to fit Where's that long, long scarf Aunt Polly knitted you? You remember honey? The one that's turquoise blue Find the sweater someone brought With those fat, fat, sleeves We must pretend to use them OH' someone help me please! Seems there was a neck tie The purple with the white The one granny made you wear that very Christmas night?? Soon they'll all be here I have to work this out For as sure as Christmas comes They'll all be asked about! Betty Hill © 2004    Thanks For Visiting Copyright © 2015 - IcqGreetings4U

Time For Coffee

Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.    Spouse #2: That's not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.       I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said why don't you quit drinking coffee.  He said, "because if I didn't have the shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all."   A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye," the psychiatrist said, "well, have you tried taking the spoon out?"     I'm sure all coffee beans are juvenile. They're always getting grounded!   Six Cups of Coffee Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee.     He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos.     "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."     "Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

 

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The Family of Potatoes

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner--Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make." "And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!" The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?" "I'm marrying a Russet!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement." "And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!" "You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?" "I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter. "An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make." "Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation. "Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!" "Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?" "I'm marrying Peter Jennings!" "Peter Jennings?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"

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Samuel - Take My Hand

I want you to see the most amazing picture that you will ever see. This is Samuel. Take a good look at this picture. It's one of the most remarkable photographs ever taken. The tiny hand of a fetus reaches out from a mother's womb to clasp a surgeon's healing finger. It is, by the way, 21 weeks old, an age at which it could still be legally aborted. The tiny hand in the picture above belongs to a baby which is due to be born on December 28. It was taken during an operation in America recently. Paul Harris reports on a medical development in the control of the effects of spina bifida ... and on a picture which will reverberate through the on-going abortion debate here Your first instinct is to recoil in horror. It looks like a close-up of some terrible accident. And then you notice, in the center of the photograph, the tiny hand clutching a surgeon's finger. The baby is literally hanging on for life. For this is one of the most remarkable photographs taken in medicine and a record of one of the world's most extraordinary operations. It shows a 21-week-old foetus in its mother's womb, about to undergo a spine operation designed to save it from serious brain damage. The surgery was carried out entirely through the tiny slit visible in the wall of the womb and the `patient' is believed to be the youngest to undergo it. At that age the mother could have chosen to have the foetus aborted. Her decision not to, however, led to an astonishing test not just of medical technology, but of faith. Samuel Armas has spina bifida, which left part of his spinal cord exposed after the backbone failed to develop. The operation was designed to close the gap and protect the cord, the body's motorway for nerve signals to the brain. So, on an unborn patient no bigger than a guinea pig, the operation was performed without removing the foetus from the womb. The instruments had to be specially designed to work in miniature. The sutures used to close the incisions were less than the thickness of a human hair. An ER-style crash cart team was on constant standby in an adjoining room. When it was completed, however, Samuel's battle for survival was only just beginning. Nor would the emotional battle his parents had already endured finish quite yet. Julie and Alex Armas had been trying desperately for a baby. Julie, a 27-year-old nurse, had suffered two miscarriages before she became pregnant with the child they intended to call Samuel Alexander if it was a boy. Then, at 14 weeks, she started to suffer terrible cramp. An ultrasound scan was carried out to show the shape of the developing foetus and its position in the womb. When the picture emerged, it was the moment that every parent-to-be dreads. Their unborn son's brain was mis-shapen and his spinal cord was sticking out from a deformed backbone. He had spina bifida. They were devastated and "Torn apart" said Alex, a 28-year-old jet aircraft engineer. At that stage, and even weeks later, the couple could have decided to have the pregnancy terminated. In their home town of Georgia in the US as in Britain abortion is routinely offered. Although accurate figures are not available, many parents accept. For Julie and Alex, who are deeply religious, it was not an option. That didn't mean, of course, that they were not racked by pain at the thought that the child they had longed for was imperfect. It also riddled them with guilt over whether they had effectively taken the decision to inflict their son with years of handicap, pain and suffering. So, this being the United States, they turned to the internet for help. Julie's mother found a web site giving details of pioneering surgery being carried out by a team at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. Although the results have not yet been endorsed in medical journals, they looked encouraging to Mr. And Mrs. Armas. Their doctor put them in touch with Dr. Joseph Bruner (it is his finger in the photograph). A race against time had begun. Because it affects the spinal cord, spina bifida can lead to a condition that causes brain damage. Mr. and Mrs. Armas were told that if they were to avoid the condition, which was not then present in Samuel, they had to act fast. "I wasn't concerned about a child who couldn't walk," said Julie, "but I want a child who knows me." The theory behind the surgery is that attention to he spine disorder before the baby is born prevents or limits brain damage, and gives a better chance of healing. It does not cure spina bifida, but it is said to provide a strong chance of limiting the damage through early intervention. The risks, however, are enormous. Controversy surrounds the use of such surgery because it goes against the general medical rule that the risk should not outweigh the benefit. Mr. and Mrs. Armas were fully aware that if anything went wrong, no attempt would be made to deliver Samuel by Caesarian section. Medical science does not yet have the capability to keep a 21-week-old foetus alive outside the womb. The crash cart was on standby for Julie, not Samuel. "If he dies, that's horrible for me and for us," said Julie before she went into theater. Wiping tears she added: "But not for him. The worst thing might be if we don't do this, and this is standard treatment when he's 21, and he says:" "Why didn't you know about that?" And we say: "We did, but we didn't do it for you." The other major dangers were turning him in the womb to get his back in line with an inch long cut in the wall, through which Dr Bruner would operate, and that the surgery might involve releasing the fluid around Samuel. The movement posed the risk of sending Julie into labor contractions, which would have been fatal for Samuel. Thus, one morning at the beginning of last month, Dr Bruner could be heard urging his team to keep quiet. "Shh!" he said. "You'll wake the baby!" Robert Davis, who reported on the operation for USA Today newspaper, said the lesion that exposed Samuel's spine was found low on his backbone, decreasing the chance of nerve damage. Although Samuel is believed to have been the youngest patient for such an operation, it was apparently routine enough for Dr Bruner and pediatric neurosurgeon Noel Tullpant to talk about the weather during the operation. An hour later, the womb is gently eased back into place. "Beautiful," said one of the technicians and relief swept the room. Julie was allowed home with Alex within days. The baby is due on December 28. He has not yet felt the touch of his mother's skin against his own and he knows nothing of life outside her womb. But perhaps Samuel Alexander Armas will be able to shake Dr Bruner's hand again.   Article Found @ Irish Independent Online

Original Photo credit: Michael Clancy.  "The tiny hand of a fetus reaches out from a mother's womb to clasp a surgeon's healing finger."

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Diary Of An Unborn Child

(Attention: Some Viewers may find this objectionable, But this Webmistress finds important.) These are the opinions of a Single Mother of three and she would not have traded her time with her children for anything in the world and THANKS GOD each day that she was given thee opportunity to leave a legacy of herself to live on thru her children and their children. OCTOBER 5th:  Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet, I am as small as a seed of an apple, but it is I already. And I am to be a girl. I shall have blonde hair and blue eyes. Just about everything is settled though, even the fact that I shall love flowers. OCTOBER 19th:  Some say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is yet truly bread. My mother 'Is' and I am also. OCTOBER 23rd:  My mouth is beginning to open now. Just think, in a year or so I shall be laughing and later talking. I know what my first word will be "MAMA" OCTOBER 25th:  My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life without ever stopping to rest! After many years it will tire. It will stop, and then I shall die. NOVEMBER 2nd:  I am growing a bit every day. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape. But I have to wait a long time yet before those legs will raise me to my Mother's arms ,before these little arms will be able to gather flowers and embrace my Father. NOVEMBER 12th:  My tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are! I'll be able to stroke my Mom's hair with them. NOVEMBER 20th:  It wasn't until today that the Doctor told Mom that I am alive and living right here under her heart. Oh , how happy she must be! Are you happy Mom? NOVEMBER 25th:  My Mom and Dad are probably thinking about a name for me. But they don't even know yet that I am to be their little girl. I want to be called LoriAnn. I am getting so big already. DECEMBER 10th:  My hair is already growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny. I wonder that kind of hair my Mom has. DECEMBER 13th:  I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When mom brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine and flowers. But what I want more than anything else is to see my Mom. DECEMBER 24th - CHRISTMAS EVE:  I wonder if Mom hears the whispering of my heart? Some children come into the world a little sick. But my heart beats strong and healthy. It beats so evenly: tup-tup, tup-tup... You'll have a healthy little daughter, Mom. DECEMBER 28th: Today my MOM killed me.   —Anonymous

Diary of an Unborn Child is the title of an anonymously-written anti-abortion article which was first read on the floor of the New York Senate in 1970. The article reappeared in 1980, and was turned into a song in 2005. Wikipedia

Please take heed to this...
and remember that their is a child out there who never
had a chance to be welcomed into the world
and this will haunt their parents forever.

Children and young adults please use caution and remember: 

"It will be the cries of your child
that you will either comfort or fear."

I originally found this "article" in an ANN LANDERS newspaper column during my first pregnancy in 1980 and posted it in 2001 on my original website called LazsRealm
Also see Heaven's Inspirations featuring the artwork of Tom Sierak 
 

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Don't Laugh At Me

I'm a little boy with glasses, the one they call the geek A little girl who never smiles cuz I got braces on my teeth And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep I'm that kid on every playground who is always chosen last A single teenage mother tryin to overcome my past You don't have to be my friend if it's too much to ask Don't laugh at me, don't call me names Don't get your pleasure from my pain In God's eyes we're all the same Some day we'll all have perfect Wings Don't laugh at me I'm the cripple on the corner You pass me on the street I wouldn't be out here begging if I had enough to eat And don't think I don't notice that our eyes never meet I lost my wife and little boy somewhere cross that yellow line The day we laid 'em in the ground is the day I lost my mind Right now I'm down to holdin this little cardboard sign Don't laugh at me, Don't call me names Don't get your pleasure from my pain In God's eyes we're all the same Someday we'll all have perfect wings Don't laugh at me I'm fat... I'm thin... I'm short... I'm tall... I'm deaf... I'm blind... Hey aren't we all Don't laugh at me, don't call me names Don't get your pleasure from my pain In God's eyes we're all the same Someday we'll all have perfect wings Don't laugh at me ~ Mark Wills ~

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My Computer

I sometimes sit and wonder, About the days way back then. You know, before the 'puter, Took my life round the bend! I never knew how to turn it on, I stared at it for days. I really couldn't fathom, Nothing about this craze! I got so tired of asking, Everybody this and that. I figured it out for myself, Once I found my thinking hat! I never missed my shows, I had to see each one. But since I found the internet, I just go to CBS.com! My family thinks I've lost it, Out in cyber-space. This is where you'll find me, Working at a fast pace! Just one more webpage, I promise, Then supper I will start. The sad and hungry looks I get, Almost break my heart.. Almost! {smile} Debbie Dodson ©January 25, 2000

 

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The One That Got Away

After a Tuesday fishing on the River Test, near Southampton in Southern England, Trevor is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket. He is approached by a Water Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license. Trevor replies to the environmentalist, 'I was not fishing and I did not catch these brown trout, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and put these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home. The officer, obviously, does not believe him and he reminds Trevor that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, 'If you don't believe me then watch, 'and he throws the trout back into the water. The warden says, 'Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket.' The fisherman turns to the officer and says, 'What fish?' AMUSING FISHING SAYINGS AND QUOTES A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work. – Author Unknown. An angler is a man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home. – Author Unknown The gods do not deduct from man’s allotted span the hours spent in fishing. – Babylonian Proverb The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad. – A.K. Best All fishermen are liars; it’s an occupational disease with them like housemaid’s knee or editor’s ulcers. – Beatrice Cook There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. – Steven Wright Calling fishing a hobby is like calling brain surgery a job. – Paul Schullery The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so that I could afford to hunt and fish. – Sam Snead Smoked carp tastes just as good as smoked salmon when you ain’t got no smoked salmon. – Patrick F. McManus If I fished only to capture fish, my fishing trips would have ended long ago. – Zane Grey Ones that almost got away: Fly fishermen are born honest, but they get over it. – Ed Zern Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. – Ernest Hemingway The fisherman’s golden rule: the one that got away is always bigger than the one you gotta weigh.

source: www.funny-jokes.com

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ABC's of Ageing

A is for arthritis,  B is for bad back,  C is for the chest pains. Corned Beef? Cardiac?  D is for dental decay and decline,  E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.  F is for fissures and fluid retention  G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention-- and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)  H is high blood pressure  I is for itches, and lots of incisions  J is for joints, that now fail to flex  L is for libido--what happened to sex?        Wait! I forgot about K!  K is for my knees that crack all the time (But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my Memory from time to time)  N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis  O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack  P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune  Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu? Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!  R is for reflux--one meal turns into two  S is for sleepless nights, counting fears on how to pay my medical bills!  T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears and the word 'terminal' also rings too near  U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)  V is for vertigo, as life spins by  W is worry, for pains yet unfound  X is for X ray--and what one might find  Y is for year (another one, I'm still alive).  Z is for zest For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed, And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.

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Let The Good Times Roll

What a life I'm having  Feeling real content Glad that Herbert left me Such a great event Now I can just sit here Do just what singles do Make no mistakes my darlin I need prime time too But boy have I sure had it With men and all that jazz Want to start unwinding Catch up on new fads Love these ear muffs baby The sound is sure divine Nice and soft and comfy Warming at same time Opps I didn't see you I don't want to be rude How ya doin honey For now I must conclude This is my new beginning I'm gonna have some fun Gonna let the good times roll My housewife days are done.   Author ~ Francine Pucillo ~ ©Copyright June 30, 2002

 

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Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head Fable

Forget the traditional Potato Head story:Here is an uncensored tale about a young potato head getting a lesson on the facts of life from her Mr. & Mrs. Potato parents. Read it and enjoy! You know that all potatoes have eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one: a real sweet potato whom they called “Yam.” They wanted the best for little Yam by telling their daughter about the facts of life. Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head warned her about going out and getting half-baked because she could get Mashed, get a bad name like Hot Potato, or ending up with a bunch of Tater Tots. The daughter said don’t fret, because no Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she also said that she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato either. The young potato head would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. Mr. & Mrs. Potato advised she should watch out for Indians of the old “Wild West,” because she could get Scalloped. She told them she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high class Blue Belles or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say Frito Lay. Mr. & Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent her to “Idaho P.U.” P.U. stands for Potato University where the Big Potatoes come from and when she graduated, she’d really be in the Chips. But one day she came home and said she was going to marry Rush Limbaugh. Mr. and Mrs. Potato fainted, because they said she couldn’t marry him because he’s just a commontater!

 

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Military Common Sense Rules

A lot of life’s problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense …

When I Am An Old Man - Version One

When I am an old man, I will wear plaid trousers, let my shirt tail hang out on one side on Tuesdays, and wear ties that clash with everything.

I'll carry a cane whether I need it or not, to waggle at people who ask stupid questions and poke pretty young girls.

I'll have my ear pierced, the one that says you're gay (whichever that is) and grin if someone mentions it.

I won't smile on Thursdays, even if I'm chuckling inside, I'll never be angry on Sundays, except in months when the sun doesn't shine.

Maybe I'll shave, and maybe I won't, depends on which eye I open first in the morning.

I'll spit in public places, but not on people's shoes,v unless they deserve it, and belch from both ends when the spirit moves me.

I'll eat tacos for breakfast, ice cream with salad, drink tea with honey, coffee with maple syrup, and rum with nothing at all.

I'll stare everyone straight in the eye, give my opinion on everything under the sun, if I'm asked, and especially if I'm not.

I'll forget how to spell "rules" but not "integrity", "obligations", but not "responsibility", "expectations", but not "honor".

I'll speak to God direct, help him out when he needs it, but gently, cause mainly he does good work, when people leave him alone, that is.

I'll cry at movies and funerals, laugh at my own mistakes, if I make any, hug my sons and my daughters every chance I get, raise my hat to any woman wearing purple.

I think I'll have more fun saying what I think, being who I am, staring at the stars,
when I am an old man, wearing plaid trouser.

 ......ROBERT N. McWILLIAM

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When I Am An Old Man - Version 2

  I shall wear my old slippers whenever I choose.

  Have popcorn and pickles while on my armchair cruise.

Dance around in my bathrobe, put my false teeth in a jar,
  Make friends of my enemies and talk "love", not war.

Eat ice cream for breakfast and spend some days abed.

  Nod off in the sunshine over books I've not read.

  I'll drink milk from the carton, eat peaches from their tin,
And throw away my neckties, grow whiskers on my chin.

  Make music on an old guitar to chase away the blues,
  And scratch where it itches, forget to shine my shoes.

  Wink at the girls and give a big grin,
  Notice the sunsets and let the dogs come in.

  On Holidays I'll wear fine shirts, plaid trousers that are loose,
  And let one of the youngsters carve the turkey or the goose.

  But now, we must get to work on time.
  Save every nickle,penny and dime.

  Be proper and prim, stay healthy and fit.

  Pay our taxes and not complain about it.

  But maybe I'll begin doing some of these things now,
Like forgetting my manners when I'm eating my chow.

  So our friends will recognize me on that far away day,
  When suddenly I am old and begin acting that way!

 ~ by Donna Schwarz & Elizabeth Lucas  ~

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Interesting Facts about Coca-Cola

To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coke into the toilet. Let it sit for one hour, then flush clean.

To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coke.

To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coke over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coke to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coke into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coke will help loosen grease stains.

It will also clean road haze from your windshield!

In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

Now this just FREAKS me out:

There was a competition in Delhi University: "Who can drink the most Coke?". The winner drank 8 bottles and died on the spot because he had too much carbon dioxide in the blood and not enough oxygen. YIKES!

If you put a broken tooth in a bottle of Pepsi, in 10 days it will fully dissolve!

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