What Are Fathers Made Of?


A father is a person that is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic

A father is a person that growls when he feels good and laughs out loud when scared half to death.

A father never feels worthy of the worship in a child's eyes. He's never quite the hero his daughter thinks and never quite the man his son believes him to be and this worries him.

So he works too hard to try and smooth the rough places in the road for those of his own who will follow him

A father is a person who gets angry when the first school grades aren't as good as he thinks they should be. He scolds his son though he knows it's the teacher's fault

Fathers are person that give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody's

Fathers make bets with insurance companies about who'll live the longest. One day they lose and the bet's paid off to the part of them they leave behind

I don't know where a father goes when he dies. But I've an idea~~that after a good rest~~he won't just sit on a cloud and wait for the girl he loved and the children she bore. He'll be busy there too repairing the stairs
oiling the gates,
improving the streets,
smoothing the way....
(Paul Harvey)
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A father is a person that is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic A father is a person that growls when he feels good and...

How the Zodiac Signs Age :)


(This artwork is part of the "Zodiac Signs in Old Age" series by Russian artist Olga Gromova.)
Due to their personality traits, strengths, and weaknesses, each zodiac sign experiences age differently. And for some, it doesn't manifest at all.

 
 

♈ Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19

Aries prefer not to notice their own age. They live in the moment and don't think about what tomorrow holds. Their cheerful spirit sustains them with the immense energy of youth well into old age. Aries might not be wearing a leather jacket at 60, but they'll still be passionate about motorcycles. And they'll do so with the same zeal and frenzied energy as before.

 

 

♉ Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20

Taurus loves to eat well, sometimes even too much—for this reason, they often gain a fair amount of excess weight as they age. As they age, stubborn Taurus becomes even less flexible, both psychologically and physically. Nevertheless, they have good stamina, and even despite illness, they are likely to live a very long time.

 

 

♊ Gemini (Twins): May 21–June 21

Geminis set goals in their youth and gradually move forward, showing no signs of slowing down as the years go by. Don't expect a Gemini to come home early from work. Even in old age , you won't see them lounging in front of the fireplace. Their career growth will continue until retirement and, if possible, long after.

 

 

♋ Cancer (Crab): June 22–July 22

Cancers come in two flavors: those who never grow up, and those who love to care for others in their old age, like Mother Teresa. Cancers, like Leos, desperately want everyone to respect their "noble gray hair." Cancers can make excellent "classic" grandparents, something most grandchildren aspire to be.

 

♌ Leo (Lion): July 23–August 22

Leos are naturally indulgent and sedate, and this will become increasingly evident as they age. By old age, they are already quite calm, seasoned, and dignified individuals. They will increasingly desire universal respect, authority, and sometimes even worship, as well as serve as a primary role model—for this reason, they will strive to achieve their main life goals and settle down as early as possible.

 

 

♍ Virgo (Virgin): August 23–September 22

Many Virgos begin to perceive the world around them increasingly negatively as they age, especially if they allow their excessive critical tendencies to lose control. They love to maintain excellent fitness and good health, and are constantly striving to improve their mental performance. Therefore, they typically enter old age as smart, well-groomed gentlemen and ladies, albeit somewhat stern, yet very intelligent.

 

 

♎ Libra (Balance): September 23–October 23

Libras are always concerned about their appearance, so they'll go to any lengths to prevent extra pounds and wrinkles from appearing on their faces for as long as possible. They're usually successful. Even at eighty, Libras will convince others they're not even forty yet.

 

 

♏ Scorpio (Scorpion): October 24–November 21

Scorpios become dignified and imposing in old age. They like to think of themselves as philosophers who have accumulated a wealth of wisdom over the years, and indeed, this is true. Unfortunately, however, older Scorpios often become overly fixated on personal beliefs and goals, to the point of obsession and stubbornness.

 

 

♐ Sagittarius (Archer): November 22–December 21

Like Aries, Sagittarians avoid thinking about old age at all costs. Sometimes it becomes an obsession, and they pester others with questions about their estimated age, hoping to garner a few compliments. However, these compliments are usually always justified, as Sagittarians, despite their reluctance to take care of themselves, manage to maintain their sex appeal and attractiveness well into old age.

 

 

♑ Capricorns (Goat): December 22–January 19

Capricorn is a sign that is largely associated with time, as it is ruled by Saturn, the planet responsible for time and its passage. But what's interesting is that for Capricorns, time seems to flow in reverse. Capricorns are born as "little old men," serious beyond their years, wise and responsible, but as they mature, their character becomes increasingly playful and childish, and by old age, Capricorns behave like absolute children.

 

 

♒ Aquarius (Water Bearer): January 20–February 18

Aquarians are strongly influenced by Saturn , so in childhood, like Capricorns, they are very serious. As they get older, Aquarians become increasingly eccentric, no longer caring what others think of them, and at 80, they can behave exactly as they please.

 

 

♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20

Pisces are terrified of old age. They fear so much time left to live, so much left to do, so much left unfulfilled! This is precisely why Pisces often take the time to review their life, calculate their savings, and compare balances. The less Pisces worry about this, the longer and happier they will live, because nothing shortens and depresses life like constant worry.

 


 
It matches, doesn't it? Show this to everyone, let them read and analyze the behavior of their grandparents, and let them know for themselves what awaits them in the future!

Illustrations: Olga Gromova / Flickr / LiveJournal
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(This artwork is part of the "Zodiac Signs in Old Age" series by Russian artist Olga Gromova.) Due to their personality ...

Choices ~ Inspiring Poetry

People have lots of choices in life they can make,
And some decisions turn out to be a huge mistake.
There are others though which turn out really good,
With everything working out just the way it should.

Certain people give the impression they don’t care,
Doing dangerous things which are based on a dare.
But when it gets down to the choice they have made,
They don’t realize there is always a price to be paid.

For each choice you make there is a consequence,
Everyone unable to now prevent the turn of events.
Once you decide and have put the choice in motion,
You must remember it was always your own notion.

Don’t make excuses saying it was your mom or dad,
Or say you wouldn’t have done it, but you were mad.
Did you really take enough time to think this through?
Because the choices you make will remain with you.

My friend don't take the time looking over my way,
You didn’t bother asking me first what I had to say.
Take a look in the mirror, you see the person there?
Now this one person was always completely aware.

You can keep trying daily to give the blame away,
The intent of your original choice with you will stay.
Before you decide try thinking it carefully through,
Hopefully, you will choose the correct thing to do.
 
© Brenda Sparkman - January 2004
 Image Credit "Fairy Tales" by artist Greg Olsen

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People have lots of choices in life they can make, And some decisions turn out to be a huge mistake. There are others though which tur...

Ten of the Funniest One-Liners Ever Written


1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.
4. I childproofed my house, but somehow they still get in.
5. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
6. I started a procrastinators’ support group… we haven’t met yet.
7. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn’t complain.
8. I told my phone I needed a break. Now it keeps suggesting airplane mode.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… so she hugged me.
10. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.

Five Bonus One-Liners

11. I didn’t believe my dad was a construction site thief until I got home. All the signs were there.
12. I still remember the last words my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: ‘Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?’
13. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
14. My neighbor knocked on my door at 3 AM. Luckily, I was still up playing my drums.
15. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot dow
Share this information with others. Get this article as a tract!
Learn more from the Good Fight Tract Company
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1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 2. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in c...

Lessons learned from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

On this day in 1982, “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” landed in theaters. 🎞️ A story of friendship, wonder, and finding your way home — and somehow, it still makes us cry. 🌈 Happy anniversary to one of Steven Spielberg’s most unforgettable classics.

Journey back to the magic and adventure of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, the beloved masterpiece from Academy Award®-winning director Steven Spielberg. Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, and Robert MacNaughton star in the unforgettable story of a lost alien and the ten-year-old boy who helps him find his way home. This astounding story is sure to thrill viewers of all ages again with its timeless message of trust, courage, and the overwhelming power of friendship.

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Authors: NBC Universal and David Gibson / Illustrations by Amanda Pruitt / Page Length: 112 / Publisher: Clarkson Potter / Publication Year: 2022 / Hardcover Preview Kindle Preview
Synopsis: This official book reveals essential life lessons and candid wisdom from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for its 40th anniversary. This heartwarming little guide captures the joy and delight of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial through bite-sized wisdom, vital lessons, and iconic quotes from the beloved film. With charming illustrations throughout, this book encourages readers to embrace the power of friendship, love others for who they are, overcome their fears, be sure to "phone home," and most important, to "be good." Releasing for the film's fortieth anniversary, this book will offer out-of-this-world inspiration that both adults and children will treasure for years to come.
 



E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

Rated PG (for language and mild thematic elements)
Released: June 11, 1982
Runtime: 115 minutes
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Henry Thomas, Robert MacNaughton, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace, Peter Coyote



E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Pop Classics) - Video Preview


E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Funko Pop!)
by Arie Kaplan (Author), Chris Fennell (Illustrator) Format: Kindle Edition Preview
    Just in time for the 40th Anniversary of the beloved movie, you can take this adorable Funko Pop! Little Golden Book retelling of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial home with you!
 
Sources: I Can't Unsee That Movie: film news and reviews by Jeff Huston

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On this day in 1982, “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” landed in theaters. 🎞️ A story of friendship, wonder, and finding your way home — and ...

We're Outta' Here


No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile. An Elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home.

There, she counted the money-- fifty-thousand dollars.

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.

One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . . "

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says,

~~~*~~~

"We're outta here."
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No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile. An Elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The cou...

So Many Men, So Little Aspirin - IcqGreetings4U

The trouble with men is
 ~ Their MEN!

Women are born with something men will never posess
 ~ a CLUE

Men dont try to drive women crazy
 ~ It Comes Naturally

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but it takes a woman to get him to do it!
What do a MAN and a CAT have in common? 
Unfortunately, NOT ONE THING!

If they can send a man to the moon, 
why can't they send them ALL?

Thank goodness all Eve
 got from Adam was a rib.

They say it's a man's world... 
So THAT'S what's wrong with it!

MEN! They sweep you off your feet
 then try to hand you the broom!

"Why do men think they don't need directions
 when they can't even find their clean socks?"

The Evolution of Man:
1. Tadpole
2. Frog
3. Prince Charming
4. Royal Pain

... Click on image to enlarge ...
 



 
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The trouble with men is  ~ Their MEN! Women are born with something men will never posess  ~ a CLUE Men dont try to d...

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