with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls,
a flower grows. And a foundation leaks
and a ball game gets rained out
and a car rusts and...
Follow your dream!
Unless it's the one where you're at work
in your underwear during a fire drill.
Do not walk behind me,
for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either;
just leave me alone.
If you don't like my driving,
don't call anyone.
Just take another road.
That's why the highway department
made so many of them.
If a motorist cuts you off,
just turn the other cheek.
Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.
It makes the neighbor's dog run to
the end of his chain and gag himself.
It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal the
neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
A handy telephone tip:
Keep a small chalkboard near the phone.
That way, when a salesman calls,
you can hold the receiver up to it
and run your fingernails across it
until he hangs up.
Each day I try to enjoy something
from each of the four food groups:
the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group,
and the "whatever-the-thing- in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group.
Into every life some rain must fall.
Usually when your car windows are down.
Just remember...
You gotta break some eggs
to make a real mess on the neighbor's car!
When you find yourself getting irritated with someone,
try to remember that all men are brothers ...
and just give them a noogie or an Indian burn.
This morning I woke up
to the unmistakable scent
of pigs in a blanket.
That's the price you pay
for letting the relatives stay over.
It's a small world.
So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
Keep your nose to the grindstone
and your shoulder to the wheel...
it's cheaper than plastic surgery.
This land is your land.
This land is my land.
So stay on your land.
Love is like a roller coaster:
when it's good you don't want to get off,
and when it isn't...
you can't wait to throw up.
Thanks For Visiting
Copyright © 2015 - IcqGreetings4U
Copyright © 2015 - IcqGreetings4U
