Humorous Life Lessons

Humorous Life Lessons For Children 1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. 2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. 3. If your sister or brother hits you, don’t hit him/her back. They always catch the second person. 4. Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato. 5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food. 6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap. Funny Lessons Learned In Life 1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there. 4. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. 7. With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone. Funny Life Lesson Quotes For Adults 1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree. 2. Wrinkles don’t hurt. 3. Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground. 5. Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside. 6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. 17 Life Lessons to Teach Your Child Before 18 (and great for us all)! 1. Be kind, even when others aren't. 2. Take responsibility for your actions. 3. Failure is a part of learning. 4. Money must be earned and managed wisely. 5. Time is your most valuable asset. 6. Respect is earned, not demanded. 7. Stand up for what's right, even if alone. 8. Your mindset shapes your life. 9. Hard work beats talent without effort. 10. Listen more than you speak. 11. Your health is your true wealth. 12. Choose friends who uplift you. 13. Be honest, even when it's hard. 14. Learn to say no confidently. 15. Ask questions, stay curious. 16. Apologize when you're wrong. 17. Not everything deserves your reaction.

23 Funny Lessons Learned In Life - TheCharacterCorner - Pinterest

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A Worry-Free Day Today!

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,   its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. We cannot undo a single act we performed;   we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever. The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow   with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance;   Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise,   either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,   for it is yet to be born. This leaves only one day, Today.   Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities   Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. Live but one day at a time! :)

 

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Why Computers Crash ~ Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss Explains... Why Computers Crash  (Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!) If a packet hits a pocket On a socket on a port And the bus is interrupted At a very last resort And the access of the memory Makes your floppy disk abort Then the socket packet pocket Has an error to report If your cursor finds a menu item Followed by a dash And the double-clicking icon Puts your window in the trash And your data is corrupted Cuz the index doesn't hash Then the situation's hopeless And your system's gonna crash If the label on the cable At your house Says the network is connected to The button on your mouse But your packets want to Tunnel to another protocol That's repeatedly rejected By the printer down the hall And your screen is all distorted By the side effects of gauss So your icons in the window Are as wavy as a souse Then you may as well reboot And go out with a bang Cuz sure as I'm a poet The sucker's gonna hang ! When the copy of your floppy's Getting sloppy in the disc And the microcode instructions Cause unnecessary risk Then you'll have to flash the memory And you'll want to RAM your ROM Quickly turn off the computer And be sure to tell your Mom! Well, that certainly clears things up for me.   How about you?

WandasCountry

AUDIO "Why Computers Sometimes Crash" MP3
Poems for Pronunciation

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Lessons :: Motorcycle

Riders agree, motorcycle experiences teach valuable life lessons, with many relating to freedom and adventure. Lessons Learned While Riding A Motorcycle 1. Always keep an open mind.   2. Travel light.   3. Always take back roads.   4. The easiest way is not always the best (or the most fun).   5. Plan ahead.   6. But be spontaneous.   7. Take a good opportunity when you see it.   8. Don’t forget to stop and enjoy the ride.   9. Protect yourself.   10. Carpe diem.   Life lessons learned from riding a motorcycle Twelve Important Things My Motorcycle Has Taught Me:   1. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror.   2. Four wheels move the body; two wheels move the soul.   3. Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 75 mph.   4. Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noon time bugs.   5. Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of gas before you can think straight.   6. A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.   7. Young riders pick a destination and go; old riders pick a direction and go.   8. When you're riding lead, don't spit.   9. Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at 75 mph can double your vocabulary.   10. If you can't get it going with bungee cords and duct tape, it's serious.   11. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.   12. I've never seen a Harley parked in front of a psychiatrist's office.   Always remember that riding a motorcycle on a bad day is still better than riding in a car on a good day!!!!   Summary of lessons from “A Twist of the Wrist” Don't badmouth yourself. Reflect on what you can improve, not what you did wrong.   Ride out mistakes, to learn the full lesson.   Look for the root of mistakes in the inputs, not the outcome.   Follow your own path.   The faster you're going, the more aggressively you have to turn.   The best racers are those fastest at learning to read and interpret critical information.   Don't watch others; watch the track.   First do it right, then add speed.   You gain more in the race by going faster in long sweeps, not tight turns.   The best riding advice comes from your best friend: You   Be willing to fall down… or don't ride     Biker Quote for Today You start with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

  What Learning To Ride A Motorcycle Taught Me About Life
~ Keep Your Head Up ~
~ Look To The Goal, Not The Obstacle ~
~ Practice Patience ~

15 Most Memorable Sons of Anarchy Quotes - Viking Bags

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Recently I started to find my roots and got to thinking all the things my parents taught us.
On my father's side there were 10 siblings and on my mother's side there were 14 siblings, and I also have 12 siblings myself so Family has always been important for me...

While researching our family roots on Ancestry and FamilySearch.org, This song showed up on my YouTube playlist.... Thanks to ScooterPuss ... Love it !!!!

The Last Leaves On The Tree

[Not to be confused with the Tom Waits or Willie Nelson Songs]

We're starting like a river, wild and free, 

covering out our path through history.

Every dawn of promise, every night of prayer, 

holding on to moments. I'm aware of the wear and tear. 

Seasons turn, the leaves fall down.
Whispers of the past, a silent sound. 

We watch them go one by one, 

feeling the way to what's been done.

Now we're the last leaves on the tree. 

Fading in the cold just hanging free.

Saying goodbye in a quiet song. 

Know that it's right, but it feels so wrong.

Time's a river that never stays

 sweeping us along it way.

We were young, now we're old.
There's some stories that need to be told. 

The circle turns and life moves on
to we're the last, till all is gone.

We're the last leaves on the tree. 

Holding on to meories. 

We danced in the sunlight.  Drank from the well. 

Build a house of dreams.  A story to tell.

The shadows grew longer, the seasons changed, 

and every loved one, quietly, they've gone away.

[instrumental]

Time to sleep in the night's embrace. 

Takin' parts of our soul, leaving no trace. 

We say our goodbyes in the saddest way.

 Knowing it's part of the break of day.

Now we're the last leaves on the tree.
Fading in the cold, just hangin' free.
Saying goodbye in a quiet song.
Know it is right, but it feels so wrong.

Time's a river that never stays, sweepin' us along its way.

We were young, now we're old, passing stories that need to be told.

The circles turn and life moves on. 

Til we're the last till all is gone.
We're the last leaves on the tree

holding on to memories.


And I wonder if they're looking down from a place beyond this town,
Whispering softly through the breeze, reminding me

 life's just a leaf on the trees.


So I'll stand here in the winds low cry, watch the seasons, say goodbye.
One by one they've gone ahead, leaving me the last 

where they once lived.


We're the last leaves on the tree.
Just a whisper of what used to be.

YouTube - from ScooterPuss

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