 You know that all potatoes have eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one: a real sweet potato whom they called “Yam.” They wanted the best for little Yam by telling their daughter about the facts of life. Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head warned her about going out and getting half-baked because she could get Mashed, get a bad name like Hot Potato, or ending up with a bunch of Tater Tots. The daughter said don’t fret, because no Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she also said that she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato either. The young potato head would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. Mr. & Mrs. Potato advised she should watch out for Indians of the old “Wild West,” because she could get Scalloped. She told them she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high class Blue Belles or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say Frito Lay. Mr. & Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent her to “Idaho P.U.” P.U. stands for Potato University where the Big Potatoes come from and when she graduated, she’d really be in the Chips. But one day she came home and said she was going to marry Rush Limbaugh. Mr. and Mrs. Potato fainted, because they said she couldn’t marry him because he’s just a commontater! |
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