Thus Be It

God created the donkey and said to him:
“You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence
And you will live 50 years.” The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years...”
God granted his wish.

God created the dog and said to him:
“You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.” The dog answered: “Sir, to live 30 years is too much. Give me only 15 years.”
God granted his wish.

God created the monkey and said to him:
“You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years.” The monkey answered: “To live 20 years is too much. Give me only 10 years.”
God granted his wish.

Finally God created man…and said to him:
“You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.”
Man responded: “Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little. Give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, The 15 years that the dog did not want, And the 10 years the monkey refused.”
God granted man’s wish.

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, Spends 30 years like a donkey, Working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown, He lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house And eating whatever is given to him.

So that when he is old, He can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, Going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That’s Life!

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Ode To A Retiree

Retirement is a blessed thing
or is it but a curse,
To be with no real purpose
or a cranky a boss ~ what's worse?
Yet still I find the peace of mind
to draw on my abilities
To get out of the housework
and still able to please!

There's much to do now time's my own
I've still a lot to learn,
Like how to do the ironing
without getting burnt ~
I can even cook a boiled egg
and "soldiers" to dunk in,
But what about these dishes now
oh where do I begin??

There's pots and pans and cutlery,
so where does it all go
Where does the wife keep these things?
that's all I want to know!
Blast, now my coffee's ready
as the kettle begins to wail,
I must hurry to boot the 'puter
so I can download my mail.

With that done I look at the clock
I still havea bit of time
To put away the dishes
in whatever place I find ~
Because come 2pm the tele's on
with nothing much done still,
But I settle with my feet up then
as I stop to watch "The Bill".

Gone are the days I had finesse
as well as the ability
'Cause now that I'm retired
I don't have the energy!
I used to golf, I used to fish,
enjoying the great outdoors
And now I have the time for it
I have the stamina no more!

Ah, but the joys of retirement
while the wife goes out to work
Such peacefulness to sit and think
without the burden of words ~
And so I potter about the kitchen
to prepare the tea
So when she comes home at dinnertime
the meal is all ready!

Time for a few words to each other
talking about our day
As we do the dishes after the news
before "The Bill" gets underway ~
Wednesday's "Heelers" and Thursday's "Rex"
then it's back to "The Bill"
Come Saturday night when we enjoy
another night in Sun Hill.

Other than the odd programme
there's plenty more to do
But these days I'm counting sleeps
till "The Bill" takes its next cue!
But on the nights there's nothing on
when it's just the wife and me
Then we'll just compute together
in each other's company!

© Christina
20th May, 2004

Wednesday' Blue Heelers is an Australian police drama series that was produced by Southern Star Group and ran for 12 years on the Seven Network, from 1994 to 2006.

Thursday' Inspector Rex is about a newly divorced cop who teams up with a police dog to solve crimes around Vienna, from 1994 to 2004.

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Never Say Die

Never say...Die

There are no conclusive evidence about what happens to Old or Ageing skeptics, but their futures are doubtful.

1. Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation
2. Old yachtsmen never die, they just keel over
3. Old x-ray techs never die, they just barium
4. Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip
5. Old wool coats never die, they just become mothballed
6. Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged
7. Old weathermen never die, they reign forever
8. Old watchmakers never die, they just wind down
9. Old watchmakers never die, they just run out of time
10. Old wants never die, they become needs
11. Old voicemail systems never die, they just stop answering
12. Old violinists never die, they just become unstrung
13. Old vintners never die, they just ferment away
14. Old vacationers never die, they just don't come back
15. Old usenetters never die, they just become unresponsive
16. Old undertakers never die, they just vault away
17. Old typists never die, they just lose their justification
18. Old or ageing tv soap stars never die, they become pathetic
19. Old tv shows never die, they just get rerun on nickelodeon
20. Old truck drivers never die, they just get a new Peterbilt
21. Old trombonists never die, they just slide away
22. Old trigonometry teachers never die, they just lose their identities
23. Old or ageing trash never dies, they just bury it
24. Old tire tubes never die, they just get punctured
25. Old telephones never die, they just stop ringing
26. Old teachers never die, they just lose their class
27. Old tape dispensers never die, they just get used up
28. Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.
29. Old system users never die, they just chdir to null
30. Old swimmers never die, they just kick-off
31. Old swimmers never die, they just have a stroke
32. Old swimmers never die, they just fall off their blocks
33. Old surfers never die, they just get wiped out
34. Old surfers never die, they just get board
35. Old or ageing students never die, they just get degraded.
36. Old steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.
37. Old statisticians never die, they just get broken down by age and sex
38. Old spelunkers (cave explorers) never die, they just cave in
39. Old sourdoughs never die, they just ferment away
40. Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
41. Old soccer players never die, they just lose their kick
42. Old soccer players never die, they just achieve their final goal
43. Old or ageing skiers never die, they just go over the hill
44. Old or ageing skiers never die, but they go downhill fast
45. Old skateboarders never die, they just lose their bearings
46. Old shoemakers never die, they just lose their sole
47. Old sheetrockers never die, they just hang around
48. Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.
49. Old seers never die, they just lose their vision.
50. Old seamstresses never die, they just come to the point
51. Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles.
52. Old Scots never die, but they can be kilt
53. Old scientists never die, they just gravitate
54. Old schools never die, they just lose their principals.
55. Old sanders never die, they just lose their grit
56. Old salesmen never die, they just go out of commission
57. Old sailors never die, they just lose their porpoise
58. Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.
59. Old rain puddles never die, they just dry up
60. Old railroaders never die, they just derail
61. Old radios never die, they just stop receiving
62. Old radio operators never die, they just lose their power
63. Old quilters never die, they just go under cover
64. Old quilters never die, they just go to pieces
65. Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.
66. Old quarterbacks never die, they just fade back and pass away
67. Old psychiatrists never die, they just shrink away
68. Old propane tanks never die, they just run out of gas
69. Old programming wizards never die, they just recurse.
70. Old programmers never die, they just recurse
71. Old programmers never die, they just lose their memory
72. Old programmers never die, they just go to bits
73. Old programmers never die, they just get bugged with life
74. Old programmers never die, they just decompile
75. Old programmers never die, they just byte it
76. Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.
77. Old professors never die, they just lose their class.
78. Old procrastinators never die, they just keep putting it off
79. Old printers never die, they're just not the type.
80. Old preachers never die, they just ramble on, and on, and on, and on....
81. Old preachers never die, they just lose their wind.
82. Old postal carriers never die, they just lose their zip
83. Old politicians never die, they just lose their hot air
84. Old policemen never die, they just lose their beat
85. Old policemen never die, they just cop out.
86. Old plumbers never die, they just go down the drain
87. Old plumbers never die, that is why they smell that way
88. Old plastic never dies, they just recycle it
89. Old planets never die, they just lose their attraction
90. Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.
91. Old pilots never die, they just buzz off
92. Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.
93. Old photographers never die, they get sent to the Old focus home
94. Old philosophers never die, they just kant
95. Old penguins never die, they just get hard of herring
96. Old pc's never die, they just cache in their chips
97. Old paradoxes never die, they just become enigmas
98. Old pacifists never die, they just go to peaces.
99. Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.
100. Old optomestrists never die, they just speculate
101. Old numerical analysts never die, they just get disarrayed.
102. Old number theorists never die, they just get past their prime.
103. Old nuclear power plants never die, they just go off-line
104. Old musicians never die, they just go from bar to bar
105. Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
106. Old musicians never die, they just decompose
107. Old ministers never die, they just go out to pastor
108. Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.
109. Old meteors never die, they just burn up
110. Old mercenaries never die, they just go to hell to regroup
111. Old mercenaries never die, they find someone else to take their place
112. Old mediums never die, they are just visiting their friends
113. Old mechanics never die, they just misplace their tools
114. Old mechanics never die, they just lose their bearings
115. Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some functions
116. Old mathematicians never die, they just go off on a tangent
117. Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.
118. Old math teachers never die, they just reduce to lowest terms
119. Old magicians never die, they just change color
120. Old magicians never die, they just make a big production of it
121. Old magicians never die, they just float away
122. Old magicians never die, they just disappear
123. Old linguists never die, they just rearrange their deep structures
124. Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under.
125. Old light bulbs never die, they just de-light
126. Old light bulbs never die, they just blink out
127. Old or ageing librarians never die, they just lose their references
128. Old librarians never die, they just get re-shelved
129. Old librarians never die, they just check out
130. Old librarians never die, their computers have fatal errors
131. Old lawyers never die, they just lose their briefs
132. Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
133. Old laser physicists never die, they just become incoherent.
134. Old knights in chain mail never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils.
135. Old kleptomaniacs never die, they just steal away
136. Old kids never die, they just grow up
137. Old kids never die, they just adulterate
138. Old key punch operators never die, they just punch out
139. Old kayakers never die, they just roll back over, and do it again
140. Old or ageing journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.
141. Old jockeys never die, they just go horse
142. Old Italians never die, they just pasta away.
143. Old investors never die, they just roll over.
144. Old interpreters (for the deaf) never die, they just sign off
145. Old immortals [vampires, whatever] never die, they just...don't
146. Old hypochondriacs never die, they just lose their grippe.
147. Old or ageing hypochondriacs never die, they just imagine it
148. Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded
149. Old horticulturists never die, they just go to pot.
150. Old homebrewers never die, they just ferment away
151. Old hockey players never die, they just achieve their final goal
152. Old or ageing hippies never die, they just smell that way.
153. Old hikers never die, they just trail away
154. Old helsinki tourists never die, they just vanish into finn air
155. Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
156. Old hams never die, they just get grounded
157. Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.
158. Old gymnasts never die, they just take longer to mount
159. Old graphic artists never die, they just de-rez
160. Old grammarians never die, they fall into a comma
161. Old gossip or ageing columnists never die, they just lose their sense of rumor.
162. Old or ageing goodyear workers never die, they just retire.
163. Old or ageing golfers never die, they just lose their drive.
164. Old golfers never die, they just lose their balls
165. Old golfers never die, they just keep putting along
166. Old ghost towns never die, they become desolate
167. Old geologists never die, they just recrystalize
168. Old geologists never die, they just petrify
169. Old genealogists never die, they just degenerate
170. Old garagemen never die, they just retire.
171. Old or ageing fruit never die, it just pear-ishes
172. Old frogs never die, they just croak
173. Old fridge repairmen never die, they just blow their cool
174. Old foresters never die, they just pine away
175. Old football players never die, they just kick the bucket
176. Old football players never die, they just kick off
177. Old football players never die, they just go to the end zone
178. Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way
179. Old or ageing fishermen never die, they just get reel tired
180. Old fishermen never die, their rods just go limp
181. Old fireflies never die, they just find that they can't glow on
182. Old fighters never die, they just lose their punch
183. Old fathers never die, they just become grandfathers
184. Old farmers never die, they just spade away
185. Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
186. Old exorcists never die, they just give up the ghost
187. Old eskimos never die, they just go cold
188. Old environmentalists never die, they are just recycled
189. Old english teachers never die, they just complete their sentences
190. Old engineers never die, they just lose their bearings
191. Old energizer bunnies never die, they go on, and on, and on...
192. Old electricians never die, they just lose their charge
193. Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.
194. Old electricians never die, they just do it until it hertz
195. Old electrical engineers never die, they just have slower rise times
196. Old editors never die, they just go out of print
197. Old drywallers never die, they just hang around
198. Old drivers never die, they just blow a gasket.
199. Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
200. Old divers never die, they just lose their spring
201. Old divers never die, they just get board
202. Old divers never die, they just flop
203. Old divers never die, they just extend their bottom time
204. Old dieters never die, they just waist away
205. Old dentists never die, they just lose their pull
206. Old dentists never die, they just look down in the mouth
207. Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.
208. Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.
209. Old dancers never die, they just step away
210. Old cricketers never die, they just get smashed for six
211. Old cricketers never die, they just get bowled over
212. Old credit cards never die, they just expire
213. Old couriers never die, they just keep on expressing it
214. Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
215. Old computer programmers never die, they just lose it bit by bit
216. Old computer programmers never die, they just decompile.
217. Old computer programmers never die, they just byte the dust
218. Old computer programmers never die, their computers have fatal errors
219. Old computer people never die, they just lose their memory
220. Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.
221. Old chiropractors never die, they adjust.
222. Old chemists never die, they just smell that way
223. Old chemists never die, they just reach equilibrium
224. Old chemists never die, they just lose their refluxes
225. Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.
226. Old chemists never die, they just do it inorganically
227. Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.
228. Old cashiers never die, they just check out.
229. Old cars never die, they just get run into the ground
230. Old card players never die, they just lose their tricks
231. Old canners never die, they are preserved
232. Old butchers never die, they just meat somewhere else
233. Old businesses never die, they just get consolidated
234. Old burglars never die, they just steal away
235. Old bureaucrats never die, they just waste away
236. Old budgets never die, they are fillibustered
237. Old bridge players never die, they just sit around on their fat aces
238. Old bridge players never die, they just lose their finesse
239. Old brickmasons never die, they just get mortarfied.
240. Old bricklayers never die, they're just too busy making a kiln
241. Old bricklayers never die, they just throw in the trowel.
242. Old brakes never die, they just grind down
243. Old bowlers never die, they just end up in the gutter
244. Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.
245. Old books never die, they just go out-of-print
246. Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.
247. Old bond investors never die, they just yield to maturity
248. Old or ageing blondes never fade, they just dye away
249. Old or ageing blondes never die, they just blank out
250. Old biologists never die, they just ferment away
251. Old or ageing bikers never die, but they're hard on tires
252. Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.
253. Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.
254. Old baseball players never die, they just run their last lap
255. Old baseball players never die, they just go batty
256. Old barbers never die, they just become Old cut-ups.
257. Old bankers never die, they just want to be a loan
258. Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
259. Old bakers never die, they just lose their dough
260. Old atoms never die, they just decay
261. Old astronauts never die, they just go to another world
262. Old assets never die, they just depreciate
263. Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.
264. Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.
265. Old anthropologists never die, they just become history
266. Old anesthesiologists never die, they just run out of gas
267. Old alcoholics/drug addicts never die, they just get wasted
268. Old actors never die, they just drop a part
269. Old accounts never die, they are deleted
270. Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance
271. Old academics never die, they just lose their faculties
272. Old thermodynamicists never die, they just achieve their state of maximum entropy

Source: fun-stuff-to-do

Fifty-Plus

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where do 50+ year olds find eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "I remember these".

Q:Why shouldn't we take life seriously? 

A:Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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Einstein's Theory

"Attention class!  Now, settle down,

And listen carefully,

Today I will explain to you

About Relativity."

"Mister Einstein had this theory,

That through the ages puzzled man,

And we find that yet today

There are still too few that understand."

"His Theory of Relativity

Has to do with matter, time, and space,

So, with that in mind, let us begin

To put his theory into place."

"Class, look out the window,

Johnny, what do you see?"

Johnny looked around and said,

"I see a bunch of trees."

"And Sarah," asked the teacher,

"What do you see today?"

Sarah thoughtfully replied,

"I see shade where I can play."

Next the teacher pointed out

Some buildings standing near,

"Mary Louise, tell us please

What do you see, my dear?"

"I see a row of houses,"

Said the pretty, little child,

"Very good," the teacher said,

"Now, what do you see, Lyle?"

Lyle looked intently,

Then shyly dropped his eyes,

"Those are homes with moms and pops.

And little kids that live inside."

"Excellent!" beamed the teacher,

"Now, what else does someone see?"

Excited voices shouted out

Different things in unity.

"I see a flag pole."  "I see a flag."

"I see waving stars and stripes."

"I see a yard with apple trees."

"I see red apples, hanging ripe."

 "I see a man."  "I see a neighbor."

"I see a puppy."  "I see a pet."

"I see sprinklers watering a lawn."

"I see trees and flowers getting wet."

"Now, class," the teacher said,

"We're viewing the very same things,

Yet we're seeing them quite differently,

And that's what Einstein's theory means."

"Depending on one's point of view,

Relativity comes into play,

One sees a house - another, a home,

One sees some trees - another, some shade."

"One man may barely see a flower,

Yet someone else is overawed,

"Some men say pish-posh at the mountains,

While others say they're works of God."

"And so it goes throughout men's lives,

A man has his own perspective,

Each one is right, and no one is wrong,

All views are circumspective."

"So, you may see black, while I see white,

And others, shades of gray,

That is man's God-given right,

And we should be glad we're made this way."

"How many years did Einstein spend,

Studying matter, time, and space,

When his Theory of Relativity

Was right there before his face?"

"RELATIVITY's how men relate,

How folks connect with one another,

And it's relatively simple, class,

Men are dependent on each other."

"It's what MATTERS most to men,

That we have learned through TIME,

It's how we face what's in our SPACE,

That's how Einstein's Theory is defined."

"So, class, see how bright you are,

Just look at what you've done,

You've mastered Einstein's Theory,

And have learned Relativity is fun!"

"I wonder if Einstein ever knew

The pleasure that his Theory's brought,

He didn't outwit man, you know,

Just made him stop and think a lot."

Virginia (Ginny) Ellis

Copyright August 2003

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Three Monkeys

Three monkeys sat on a coconut tree,
Discussing things as they're said to be.

Said one to the other,
"Now listen you two,
There's a certain rumor
That can't be true ...
That man descended from our noble race.
The very idea is sure to disgrace."


"No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life.
And you've never known another monk,
To leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another."


"And another thing you will never see ...
Is a monk build a fence around a coconut tree;
And let the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding all the other monks to taste."
"Why, if I put a fence around this tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me."


"And here's something else a monk won't do ...
Go out at night and get on a stew;
Or use a gun or club or knife,
To take some other monkey's life."


"Yes, man descended ... ornery cuss,
But, brother, ... he didn't descend from us!


~ Author Unknown ~

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A Little Advice

1. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

2. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

3. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

4. The best vitamin for making friends....B1.

5. The 10 commandments are not multiple choices.

6. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

7. Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open.

8. Ideas won't work unless YOU do.

9. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

10. One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

11. The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

12. Don't learn safety rules by accident.

13. We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

14. Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.

15. A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.

16. One thing you can give and still keep ...is your word.

17. A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.

18. The pursuit of happiness is: the chase of a lifetime!

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Tax Day Humor

HOW TO MESS WITH THE IRS

(Internal Revenue Service, is the agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary)

Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what its on. Write your letter on something mis-shapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.

When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.

If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.

Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped.

These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do. These methods are only recommended when you owe money.

Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.

Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).

Line the bottom of your envelope with elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party check.

On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.

adapted from: https://gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=2750

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Crazy Definitions

New Meanings for Old Words

BBQ Responsibilities

Just to clarify responsibilities for summer.

The Carrot Patch

But first let's play a little game of TIC-TAC-TOE
you are PLAYER X ... choose a partner to be PLAYER 0 or play against yourself..

Player X

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April Fools Day

WARNING: One thing to be absolutely sure about if you do an April Fools' Day prank is that you don't hurt anyone or damage property. Check with your parents or teacher first, if you're not sure.

If you live for practical jokes, Apr. 1 — or, April Fools' Day — is probably your favorite holiday of the whole year

April Fools' Day is not a national holiday, but it is celebrated in the United States and many other countries. It is sometimes known as All Fools' Day. Anyone who wants to have fun can celebrate the day. 

What do people do to celebrate? 

The main thing people do is practical jokes. Sometimes even businesses or the media will get involved. Here are some of our favorite pranks:

• One year Sports Illustrated wrote an entire article about this great new pitcher the New York Mets had found. His name was Sidd Finch and he could throw the ball 168 miles per hour! The Mets fans were so excited. Only problem was, the story was all a joke. Hidden in the title of the article were the words "Happy April Fools Day".
• Taco Bell once announced that they had purchased the Liberty Bell and were renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. People were really angry until they found out it was a joke.
• In 1992 NPR (National Public Radio) announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. They even had a comedian come on and impersonate the former president!
• One year Burger King announced a "Left handed Whopper". They said they rotated some of the ingredients 180 degrees for left handed people. A lot of people came in the restaurant and ordered one!
• Other fun pranks include flying penguins, UFOs landing, and even changing the value of Pi to 3.0 to make math easier.

Best April Fool's Day Stories

Example: Save the Date:

"I sent a fake wedding 'save the date' card to all my family and friends. The date was set for April 1st and I named the girl April Narren. 'Narren' in German means the act of fooling someone. So her name is April Fools. I did not Photoshop her in the pics. I went out with a model and a professional photographer."

— Bryan

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