Halloween Jokes And Riddles

Have fun with these family friendly Halloween jokes and riddles and remember sharing is always better with a friend!

Think You Know Everything?

1) Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

2) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

3) "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

4) Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

5) The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

6) The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

7) There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

8) There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

9) TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

10) All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill

11) A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

12) A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

13) A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

14) A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

15) A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

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1967 John Deere Candy Dispenser

Antique farm equipment is a staple at rural Minnesota parades. But few agricultural relics evoke gleeful screams from hordes of children.
Tom Konz’s rig does exactly that.  Instead of grain, Tom has repurposed his 1967 John Deere combine to dispense candy.
“They don't know what to expect,” laughs Tom, “and all of a sudden candy comes out.

Author: Boyd Huppert
Published: 10:01 PM CDT October 23, 2019
Updated: 10:21 PM CDT October 23, 2019
KIMBALL, Minn. — *This story originally aired Oct. 19, 2016. 
The video has since been updated.

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Senior's Test

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so..... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."

OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.


Take this test to determine if you are still with it and go to Question 2.


2. What do you put in a toaster?


Answer: "bread."


If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, "bread," go to Question 3.

3. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?


Answer: Cows drink water.

If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World.

" If you said "water," proceed to Question 4.

4. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?


Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????


If you said "glass," then go on to Question 5.

5. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed.The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure..... Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.


Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. &#129325 Your efforts would not be appreciated

If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," then go on to Question 6.

6. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to Question 2.

7. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your "friends" and hope they do better than you did!

8. BONUS QUESTION
A bottle of wine cost £10. The wine was worth £9 more than the bottle.

How much was the bottle worth?


A common wrong answer is £1.
Now, if the bottle were really worth a £1, then the wine, being worth £9 more than the bottle, would be worth £10. Hence the wine and bottle together would be worth £11.

The correct answer is that the bottle is worth 50 pence and the wine is worth £9.50. Then the two add up to £10.

If you said, "£1" That's okay You're not thee only to miss this question. Now go on to Question 9.

9. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall.

A bear walks by one of the windows. What colour is the bear?


Answer to the Bear Puzzle is...
White.
If all the walls face south, the house is at the north pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

If you said, "White" Kudos to you!! and then go on to Question 10.

10. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your "smart friends" and hope they do better than you did!


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Want more fun? Check Your Sexuality Here Same Format- Different Quiz

Sources: Trip-0-Soft, AllBloggerTricks, Smiley's Alt Codes, More Trival Fun

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Lessons: KinderGarten

Life Lessons Learned In KinderGarten

Flush.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Share everything.

Live a balanced life.

Be aware of wonder.

Clean up your own mess.

Take a nap every afternoon.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Put things back where you found them.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

When you go out into the world, watch for traffic,
hold hands and stick together.

Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup -- they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane
and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think what a better world it would be if we all -- the whole world -- had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

~ Robert Fulghum ~

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Lessons From Geese

Lessons I've Learned From Watching Geese

When you see geese flying in a "V" formation,
you might be interested in knowing what facts scientists have discovered about why they fly that way.

1.  FACT: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

LESSON: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the trust of one another.

2.  FACT: Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front.

LESSON: There is strength and power and safety in numbers when traveling in the same direction with those with whom we share a common goal.

3.  FACT: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

LESSON: Each of us needs to take our turn in giving direction for the good of the group.

4.  FACT: The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

LESSON: We all need to be remembered with active support and praise.

5.  FACT: When a goose gets sick, or is wounded and falls out, two geese fall out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until the crisis resolves, and then they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up with their group.

LESSON: We must stand by each other in times of need.

We are fortunate that there are more geese in life than turkeys. Let's remember to uphold each other in friendship and to give each other a "honk" of encouragement more often.

~ Written by Angeles Arrien ~

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Life Lessons

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. 

I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks. 

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. 

I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. 

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. 

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. 

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away. 

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. 

 I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. 

I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it. 

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life. 

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it. 

I've learned ... That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation. 

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done. 

--Author Unknown--

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Lessons: Cowboys

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

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Lessons: Money

1. You get what you pay for.

2. A penny saved is a penny earned.

3. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

4. Money doesn’t grow on trees.

5. Mo’ money, mo’ problems.

6. You have to spend money to make money.

7. The best things in life are free.

8. Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise.

9. You give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime.

10. It’s easy to meet expenses – everywhere we go, there they are.

11. You can’t take it with you.
.

The Bottom Line

Cheesy money sayings abound, but they don’t exist just to annoy us. Most of the time, sayings and advice that gets passed down from one generation to the next have quite a bit of truth to them.

Perhaps it’s time we stop rolling our eyes and start listening. Chances are, we could all learn something

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Lessons From The Past

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
BY Erma Bombeck.


I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "Good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later, now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you"...more "I'm sorry" ...but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it..live it..and never give it back.

I would tell all my friends that I need and love them and that my life would be empty without them.

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