Military Common Sense Rules

A lot of life’s problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense …

When I Am An Old Man - Version One

When I am an old man, I will wear plaid trousers, let my shirt tail hang out on one side on Tuesdays, and wear ties that clash with everything.

I'll carry a cane whether I need it or not, to waggle at people who ask stupid questions and poke pretty young girls.

I'll have my ear pierced, the one that says you're gay (whichever that is) and grin if someone mentions it.

I won't smile on Thursdays, even if I'm chuckling inside, I'll never be angry on Sundays, except in months when the sun doesn't shine.

Maybe I'll shave, and maybe I won't, depends on which eye I open first in the morning.

I'll spit in public places, but not on people's shoes,v unless they deserve it, and belch from both ends when the spirit moves me.

I'll eat tacos for breakfast, ice cream with salad, drink tea with honey, coffee with maple syrup, and rum with nothing at all.

I'll stare everyone straight in the eye, give my opinion on everything under the sun, if I'm asked, and especially if I'm not.

I'll forget how to spell "rules" but not "integrity", "obligations", but not "responsibility", "expectations", but not "honor".

I'll speak to God direct, help him out when he needs it, but gently, cause mainly he does good work, when people leave him alone, that is.

I'll cry at movies and funerals, laugh at my own mistakes, if I make any, hug my sons and my daughters every chance I get, raise my hat to any woman wearing purple.

I think I'll have more fun saying what I think, being who I am, staring at the stars,
when I am an old man, wearing plaid trouser.

 ......ROBERT N. McWILLIAM

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When I Am An Old Man - Version 2

  I shall wear my old slippers whenever I choose.

  Have popcorn and pickles while on my armchair cruise.

Dance around in my bathrobe, put my false teeth in a jar,
  Make friends of my enemies and talk "love", not war.

Eat ice cream for breakfast and spend some days abed.

  Nod off in the sunshine over books I've not read.

  I'll drink milk from the carton, eat peaches from their tin,
And throw away my neckties, grow whiskers on my chin.

  Make music on an old guitar to chase away the blues,
  And scratch where it itches, forget to shine my shoes.

  Wink at the girls and give a big grin,
  Notice the sunsets and let the dogs come in.

  On Holidays I'll wear fine shirts, plaid trousers that are loose,
  And let one of the youngsters carve the turkey or the goose.

  But now, we must get to work on time.
  Save every nickle,penny and dime.

  Be proper and prim, stay healthy and fit.

  Pay our taxes and not complain about it.

  But maybe I'll begin doing some of these things now,
Like forgetting my manners when I'm eating my chow.

  So our friends will recognize me on that far away day,
  When suddenly I am old and begin acting that way!

 ~ by Donna Schwarz & Elizabeth Lucas  ~

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Interesting Facts about Coca-Cola

To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coke into the toilet. Let it sit for one hour, then flush clean.

To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coke.

To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coke over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coke to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coke into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coke will help loosen grease stains.

It will also clean road haze from your windshield!

In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

Now this just FREAKS me out:

There was a competition in Delhi University: "Who can drink the most Coke?". The winner drank 8 bottles and died on the spot because he had too much carbon dioxide in the blood and not enough oxygen. YIKES!

If you put a broken tooth in a bottle of Pepsi, in 10 days it will fully dissolve!

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Today's Generation

Girl said:

   Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in Alaska. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, he proposed to me on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship through Viber.

I need your blessings and good wishes, daddy.

Dad said: 

   Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, receive them through gmail. And if you are fed up with your husband...sell him on Amazon.

source: http://forangelsonly.blogspot.com/

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