I Am Woman - Hear Me Roar

NINE TO FIVE??? HA!!

I am woman, hear me ROAR
Watch me hit that grocery store!
Pickin' up convenience foods galore
Snack foods, lunch stuff for the kids and more.

I'm climbing that ladder to success.
Gotta get my hair done, it's really a mess!
Drop off clothes at the cleaners--now or never
Kids go to soccer, dancing, whatever!

Never stay home, just keep up the running
But I am woman, and with a mind that's cunning!
Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.
Call hubby on cell phone, see if he can
take son to basketball practice tonight
Take a load off me or he's in for a fight!





Oh God, I forgot! Gotta go to class tonight.
Learnin' how to organize my time, how to fight
that urge to scream and holler out loud!
Yeah, I'm WOMAN, and I'm damned proud!

I can dust the house with babies under my arm!!
Prepare corn to freeze, just like on the farm!
You can try to break me, but you can sure bet
If you think I am bending, brother, you are all wet!





I volunteer at school and how they all love me.
When it comes to volunteering, there's no one above me!
So what if my ironing never gets done!
The school needs volunteers and I'm the best one!

I'll rest a little later, and soak in the tub.
Ask hubby to give me a soothing back rub.
Put the kiddies to bed, pack lunches, put out clothes.
Yep! Goin' straight up the ladder
But where will it end?? Nobody knows!

Yeah, I am WOMAN, hear me roar!
Wanna argue that point?? Man, you're in for WAR!

Who do you think keeps us going through the days?
Do you think I'm out there, soakin' up rays???
From career woman to housewife, I've got it down pat!
I'm darned near perfect..honey, that's that!



Now, don't go messin' up my mind these days.
I can handle all this, I've got my ways!
With a positive mind and strength unbelieving
I can tackle about anything I'm receiving!

So come on and bet me that I can't do it!
Cuz I'll just take a deep breath and get to it!
I am infallable, and I know the score!
Yep! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!


Ahhh, here I am in the sun, all alone
No television, no kids, no phone
Just me and the sun and the sky up above me.
Yep, I am woman, and my family loves me!

They sent me here to rest
So I can get ready
Son's trying out for wrestling
And daughter's goin' steady!
Yep, I finally lost it
Just a bundle of nerves!
But I'm getting no more
Than what I deserve! (RIGHT???)

(AM I WOMAN? HEAR ME ROAR!)

As for the men who read this, hey, can't you take it???
Awww, do like I do at times..
Go on and FAKE it! **G**
(Love ya!)


"Todays Woman" Author: Kacey



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NINE TO FIVE??? HA!! I am woman, hear me ROAR Watch me hit that grocery store! Pickin' up convenience foods galore Snack f...

Puppy Manners / Quotes


If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
- Will Rogers

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
- Sigmund Freud

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog.
- Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
- Unknown

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
- Penny Ward Moser

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
- Fran Lebowitz

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
- Joe Weinstein

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Ben Williams

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we are the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
- James Thurber

Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!
- Dr. Tony Maklin

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
- Dave Barry

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
- Unknown

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.
- Nora Ephron

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
- Dereke Bruce

Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
- Unknown

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
- Christopher Morley

I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
- Gene Hill

Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
- Unknown

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
- Steve Bluestone

The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!"
- Dave Starr

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain

I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me.
- Jimi Celeste

Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
- Phillis Diller

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
- Erma Bombeck

He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
- Ben Franklin

I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign out front: "No Dogs Allowed."
- Phil Foster

They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
- Larry Reeb

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings

If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people.
- Karel Capek 1890-1938 Czech Journalist

The more I see of men the more I like dogs.
- Madame de Stael 1766-1817 French social leader

When a man’s dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama.
- Mark Twain.

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.
- Margot Kaufman, American writer

My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet.
- Edith Wharton.

If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky.
- Old Proverb

A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved.
- Aaron Katcher, American Educator and Psychiatrist

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
- Corey Ford, American writer

Fifth Avenue is too expensive for anyone but dogs.
- Mel Finkelstein, Daily News

My dog can bark like a Congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings.
- Gerold Solomon, US Congressman

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.
- Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer

Being patted is what it is all about.
- Roger Caras.

Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
- Unknown

They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell.
- Emily Dickenson
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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers Dogs love their friends and bite their ene...

Dear Abby

QUESTIONS THAT STUMPED DEAR ABBY!
Dear Abby:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby:
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby:
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much. I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby:
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby:
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby:
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a Good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby:

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $60 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby:
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he did it.

Dear Abby:
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby:
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby in care of the Tulsa World, P.O. Box 1770, Tulsa, OK 74102. 

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QUESTIONS THAT STUMPED DEAR ABBY! Dear Abby: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym t...

The Train Of Life


Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.

They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their heads and cry.

But, I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.

So strap me to the engine.
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.

I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.

I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.

So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.

It's all right to remember,
'That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.

The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.

It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You've gotta DRIVE the train!
Author Unknown

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Some folks ride the train of life Looking out the rear, Watching miles of life roll by, And marking every year. They sit in sad remembr...

The Bluebird's Dream


A bluebird came down from the sky
and perched beside my head.
He beckoned me to fly with him
and learn from all he said.

So to the skies he carried me,
the whole world his to see,
And only for the moment,
his dreams belonged to me.

One dream was for happiness,
another was for peace.
One was for security,
and one for pain to cease.

I knew his need for freedom,
I knew his need for love,
That pulled him from his humble nest
to tempt the skies above.

But then our flight was over,
I suddenly felt blind,
He would travel on his way,
and I'd be left behind!

"Wait, you can't just leave me here,
I am not that strong.
Don't you share your glory?
Can't I come along?

I've never been so peaceful
as when I dreamed with you.
Tell me how to get there.
Show me what to do."

"I'm glad you shared my dream" he said
"but if you're truly free,
Then you'll send me on my way,
that dream belonged to me.

And somewhere deep down in your soul
is one that's meant for you.
Happiness is waiting,
if you can chase what's true.

Millions more are waiting,
I'll fly to them tonight.
I'll share my dreams,
so send me off,
and wish me love and light.

The miles that stand between us
are smaller than they seem,
I'll always be beside you
if you learn to chase your dreams."

~~Author Unknown~~





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A bluebird came down from the sky and perched beside my head. He beckoned me to fly with him and learn from all he said. So to t...

Charles M. Schulz Tribute

A Tribute to Charles M. Schulz

(1922 - 2000)

Creator of the "Peanuts" Gang


      The late Earle Nightingale, writer and publisher of inspirational and motivational newsletters, once told a story about a boy named Sparky. For Sparky, school was all but impossible. He failed every subject in the eighth grade. He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of zero. Sparky also flunked Latin, algebra, and English. He didn't do much better in sports. Although he did manage to make the school's golf team, he promptly lost the only important match of the season. There was a consolation match; he lost that too.

      Throughout his youth Sparky was awkward socially. He was not actually disliked by the other students; no one cared that much. He was astonished if a classmate ever said hello to him outside of school hours. There's no way to tell how he might have done at dating. Sparky never once asked a girl to go out in high school. He was too afraid of being turned down.

      Sparky was a loser. He, his classmates...everyone knew it. So he rolled with it. Sparky had made up his mind early in life that if things were meant to work out, they would. Otherwise, he would content himself with what appeared to be his inevitable mediocrity.

      However, one thing was important to Sparky......drawing. He was proud of his artwork. Of course, no one else appreciated it. In his senior year of high school, he submitted some cartoons to the editors of the yearbook. The cartoons were turned down. Despite this particular rejection, Sparky was so convinced of his ability that he decided to become a professional artist.

      After completing high school, he wrote a letter to Walt Disney Studios. He was told to send some samples of his artwork, and the subject for a cartoon was suggested. Sparky drew the proposed cartoon. He spent a great deal of time on it and on all the other drawings he submitted. Finally, the reply came from Disney Studios. He had been rejected once again. Another loss for the loser.

      So, Sparky decided to write his own autobiography in cartoons. He described his childhood self a little boy loser and chronic underachiever. The cartoon character would soon become famous worldwide......for Sparky, the boy who had such lack of success in school and whose work was rejected again and again was Charles Schulz. He created the "Peanuts" comic strip and the little cartoon character whose kite would never fly and who never succeeded in kicking a football.....Charlie Brown.


The final Peanuts Sunday strip, which came out February 132000:
 A day after the death of Charles “Sparky” Schulz.


      Each week, the wonderful characters created by Charles Schultz came into our homes, bringing with them the laughter, joy and essence of life itself. No greater gift can can one person give another, and for this we deeply THANK YOU, Mr. Schultz. Truly, you will be missed.

      May the spirit of Sparky, Charles Schultz and Charlie Brown be in our hearts for generations to come.



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A Tribute to Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000) Creator of the "Peanuts" Gang       The late Earle Nightingale, writer and...

Marriage Proverbs


Marriage Proverbs for those thinking of 'tying the knot.' . . .



  1. Marriages are made in heaven - but so are thunder and lightning.
  2. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
  3. Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand!
  4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
  5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
  6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one - the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
  8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and is a good cook - but the law allows only one wife.
  9. Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover - but again, the law allows only one husband.
  10. Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

[ Author Unknown ]

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Marriage Proverbs for those thinking of 'tying the knot.' . . . Marriages are made in heaven - but so are thunder and li...

Perjury



Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something, but after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ but, one day, Sam approached the park and-- Lo and behold! --there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then Sam said, "For crying out loud, Russ, what in the world happened to you?"

 Russ replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail!" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Russ said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'."

"The judge gave me 30 days for perjury!"

Author Unknown
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Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Ru...

Will You Still Need Me


When I get older losing my hair, many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine.

If I'd been out till quarter to three; would you lock the door, will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four.

You'll be older too, And if you say the word, I could stay with you.

I could be handy mending a fuse, When your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside, Sunday mornings go for a ride.

Doing the garden, digging the weeds, Who could ask for more. Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four.
Every summer we can rent a cottage, In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear We shall scrimp and save, Grandchildren on your knee; Vera, Chuck and Dave.

Send me a postcard, drop me a line, Stating point of view. Indicate precisely what you mean to say. Yours sincerely, wasting away.

Give me your answer, fill in a form. Mine for evermore.
Will you still need me,  will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four.



Album: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
Original Version :: When I'm Sixty-Four :: Lennon-McCartney


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:: INTERESTING REMAKE ::
 Lead & backup vocals, piano, bass, guitars, drums, percussion, tubular bells, clarinets, bass clarinet, synthesizer and strings arrangement performed by Crag Jensen

When I get older losing my hair,  many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine,  birthday greetings, bottle of wine. ...

Senior Personal Ads


Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim,5'-4" (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six- unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.




So there is this 75 yr. old woman that is looking to start dating again. She goes and places an ad in the personal section of the paper that read;
"Looking for gentleman around my age that won't run around on me, beat on me and is also still good in bed." 
The following day unexpectedly her doorbell rings.
She opens the door and a good looking guy around her age is in a wheelchair however has no arms of legs. She exclaims "You have no legs". He responds that he can't run around on her then.
She says "You have no arms!". He responds I can't beat you then.
She says "And you are good in bed??". He responds, Rang the bell didn't I??


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Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor? FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim,5'-4...

Legend Of The Butterfly


Once as a child many years ago... On a balmy summer's eve. I sat in the yard at my Mother's side... and a butterfly lit at my sleeve.

"It's a sign of good luck, my Mother said. As the butterfly stayed at my arm...
"It's a symbol of all the beauty in life. Make sure you do it no harm."

First butterflies are eggs and after they hatch; they see that their life's just beginning, They're content with their lot in life, so they go out on a limb and start spinning.

They stay out awhile in a magic cocoon; then emerge like flowers in spring, Then they share the story of their victory and success; through each of the colors of their wings.

The gold in their wings is the " Golden Rule".... To follow that is a must. The blue....That means true blue. Always be someone people can trust.

The green of the tip of their wing is saying Stay green, and you'll always grow. The silver is the lining in the clouds of doubt... that you must look for as for as through your life you go.

Butterflies bend with the wind, it's true, Still they get where they want to go. They arrive by persistence through their own insistence A lesson more people should know.

~ author unknown ~

MORAL LESSON:
"Whom you will be in the future can be determined in what you love in life now. We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. People around you might be the biggest barriers in every good things that attracts you to grab, opportunities comes only once, never hesitate to grab it. One day you’ll realized they are part of every successful story." - jennyrosesabandalblog 


Read The Complete Story Here

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Once as a child many years ago... On a balmy summer's eve. I sat in the yard at my Mother's side... and a butterfly lit at my s...

Those Red Hat Ladies


These ladies are always ready
For a cheerful kind of sound
For it’s all about planning
To pass the humor around


To put aside the stress in life
And look on a brighter side
To find something to smile about
And take life on a fun-filled ride


Bright red fedora hats they wear
Something unique to see
It was all about the ladies
Like you and yes, like me 


Who want to put pressures aside
If just for a little while
To smile and prance around
In a classy kind of style


It’s all about friendship and laughter
There are no what-if's or maybe’s
When they all get together
Those exciting Red Hat Ladies!

~Marilyn Lott ~


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These ladies are always ready ...

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME


It's World Series time! Everyone is familiar with the chorus "Take Me Out To The Ballgame". Maybe you didn't know there are more words to the song! The music was written by Albert Von Tilzer, words by Jack Norworth and it was published in 1908 by The York Music Co.





Katie Casey was baseball mad, Had the fever and had it bad;
Just to root for the hometown crew, ev'ry sou Katie blew.
On a Saturday her young beau called to see if she'd like to go,
To see a show but Miss Kate said "no, I'll tell you what you can do:

Chorus:



"Take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I don't care if I never get back. 
Let me root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame,
For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game!" 

Katie Casey saw all the games, Knew the players by their first names;
Told the umpire he was wrong, all along good and strong. 

When the score was just two to two, Katie Casey knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew, She made the gang sing this song:

Chorus: 


"Take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowd

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I don't care if I never get back. 

Let me root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame,

For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game!" 







Found this and thought it was a MUST SEE for all us Babseball Fanes 

Greatest Trick Plays in Baseball History


Two turn-of-the-century baseball players, who work in vaudeville during the off-season, run into trouble with their team's new female owner and a gambler who doesn't want them to win the pennant.

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It's World Series time! Everyone is familiar with the chorus "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" . Maybe you didn't know th...

Old Age Is Not For Sour Pusses


Old folk are fun to be around,
I know because I R one,
I laugh at me so many times,
I just must be a lot of fun!


I lost my glasses the other day,
Where were they, do you s'pose?
Well, they were on my head all right,
But on my forehead, not my nose.


The smallest things amuse me,
Like rising from my chair,
I rock upon my haunches,
'Til I rock me in the air.


Today I left the coffee out,
When I plugged the coffee maker in,

 Then I got hot water from the spout,
 Where the coffee should have been.


 I often feel quite silly, 
When I move from room to room,
Wondering what I came for,
And did I come too late too soon?


I really get a kick from
Blowing dust curls out of sight,
There was a time if I'd seen one,
I would have cleaned all night.


And I think it is hilarious,
When I get Viagra ads,
In unmarked, plain, brown envelopes,
I laugh, but don't get mad.


In fact, I almost ordered some,
For an old friend of mine with needs,
But his arthritis was so bad,
He would have rubbed it on his knees.


The many different pills I take,
Are just like tiddly-winks,
My thumb can flip them to my tongue.
And I'm very good, I think.


I've been cautioned by well-meaning folks,
To keep my doors locked tight,
I laugh because I know so well,
My abductor would drop me at first light.


One night when I sat down to dinner,
Everything smelled so good,
But I laughed when I picked up my fork,
For I forgot to serve the food.


You say growing old's not funny,
Well, that depends, my friend,
If you can giggle at yourself,
I think you'll make it to the end.


And I hope with all my heart and soul,
When Saint Peter lets you through,
He's teasing, when he stops and asks,
"WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?"
Virginia (Ginny) Ellis
Copyright March 2003

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Old folk are fun to be around, I know because I R one, I laugh at me so many times, I just must be a lot of fun! I lost my glasse...

You might live in Minnesota



If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota .

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights Each year because International Falls or Embarass is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota .

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
You might live in Minnesota .

If your local Dairy Queen and Val's is closed from November through March,
You might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota .

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
You might live in Minnesota .

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Minnesota .

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Minnesota .

If you know how to say...Wayzata...Mahtomedi...Cloquet .... Edina ..and Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota .

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,
You might live in Minnesota.

You measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota .

You know several people, who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Minnesota .

You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Minnesota.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Minnesota .

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota .

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,
You might live in Minnesota .

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota .

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Menard's at any given time ,
You might live in Minnesota.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota .

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota .

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota .

You can identify a southern or eastern accent,
You might live in Minnesota .

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,
You might live in Minnesota .

If "Down South" to you means Iowa ,
You might live in Minnesota .

You know "a brat" is something you eat,
You might live in Minnesota .

You find -10 degrees "a little chilly",
You might live in Minnesota .

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends,
You've lived or are living in Minnesota ..


Author Unknown



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If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food w...

Seize The Day

1. Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.

-William Arthur Ward

2. If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it. -Jesse Jackson

3. Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.

4. Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great. -Mark Twain

5. Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day.

6. You aren't wealthy until you have something money can't buy.

7. You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety. -Abraham Maslow

8. Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.

9. Why not learn to enjoy the little things - there are so many of them.

10. I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution. -Wernher von Braun

11. Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. -Bob Talbert

12. Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right. -Henry Ford

13. Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination. -Roy M. Goodman

14. Only one feat is possible: not to have run away. -Dag Hammarskjold

15. We only do well the things we like doing. -Colette

16. Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the root. -Malay proverb

17. Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde

18. Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. -Maori proverb

19. The reverse side also has a reverse side. -Japanese proverb

20. Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

21. If you don't place your foot on the rope, you'll never cross the chasm. -Liz Smith

22. It makes all the difference whether you hear an insect in the bedroom or in the garden. -Robert Lynd

23. What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

24. The only thing that sat it's way to success is a hen. -Sarah Brown

25. Whatever good things we build end up building us. -Jim Rohn

26. A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them. -Sam Levinson

27. One´s own thought is one´s world. What a person thinks is what he becomes.

28. What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? -Robert H. Schuller

29. How old would you be if you did not know how old you are?

30. Am I like the optimist who, while falling ten stories from a building, says at each story, "I'm all right so far"? -Gretel Ehrlich

31. If you expect nothing, you're apt to be surprised. You'll get it. -Malcolm Forbes

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Copyright © 2015 - IcqGreetings4U

1. Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wai...

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