The Perfect Dog

Gemini (May 21-June 20) – Jack Russell Terrier The versatile Gemini’s perfect dog match is the intelligent Jack Russell terrier. Jack Russell terriers are known to be funny, stubborn, and energetic—and that's exactly what the very adaptable and easily bored Gemini needs to keep them on their toes.

My son asked a question as little boys do
Of me in my wisdom and all that I knew.
Is there a dog that is perfect?” he asked on a whim,
Well, I thought and I thought about where to begin.

He’d have ears that were floppy… or cropped and alert
And eyes that were sleepy… or perky and pert,
He’d leap like a bunny or sit in your lap
And run fast as horses… or opt for a nap.

A dog that is perfect would be covered in spots
Or maybe one-color … and then have spots-not.

He’d be small as a teacup… or big as a house,
With a nose that seemed flattened … or long like a mouse,

He’d swim and he’d hunt with a coat flying free
Or be dainty and delicate … and "He’d" be a "She"

As I struggled to answer, and not with a clue,
My son, with a smile, said, out of the blue,
With the wisdom of children, what he already knew…

The dog that is perfect … is the one next to you.

– John O’Hurley

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Stay Young And Happy

Throw out all the non-essential numbers... This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them -- that is why you pay him.

Keep only cheerful friends... The grouches pull you down. If you really need a grouch, there are Probably a few of your relatives to do the job.

Keep learning... Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Just never let your brain idle.

Laugh often, long and loud... Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your Distinctive laughter.

The tears happen... Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with you your entire life is yourself.

Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, Music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health... If it is good -- preserve it. If it is unstable -- improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve -- get help.

Don't take guilt trips... Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country ... but not to guilt.

Tell the people you love that you Love them, at every opportunity.

And remember that Life is not measured By the number of breaths we take... but by the moments that Take our breath away!

author unknown

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I Want To Be Six Again

I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.

I want to think M&M's are better than money ‘cause you can eat them.

I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.

I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables, and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care.

I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.

I want to be happy because I don't know what should make me upset.

I want to think the world is fair, and everyone in it is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, starving and abused kids, and unhappy marriages.

I want to be six again. I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever because I don't know the concept of death.

I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life, and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something I use for escape from the things I should be doing.

I want to live knowing the little things I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them.

I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me.

I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else.

I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet, and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.

I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist, and how to find the money to fix the car.

I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up, not worry what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

I want that time back. I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.

~ © Tony Holly ~  Used with permission.

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Losing My Marbles

Some say I've lost my marbles,  but you know it isn't true,  For they are right beside me,  nestled next to you! Colours in abundance,  such beauty in array,  Within your eyes I see the things,  I cannot seem to say.

Though people do keep asking me,  if I've become confused,  It's just the world is bigger now,  and we seem very few. But we know it doesn't matter,  for with you by my side,  Everything it still makes sense,  whatever they imply.

They may think age is a curse,  but we know one thing for sure,  That with it has brought a wisdom,  we couldn't want for more. And while they think we're "past it",  beyond our "use by" dates,  Old and of a vintage,  no longer adequate.

But I could still outrun them,  with all their fancy things,  Because values and morality,  in the end still win. So you see I have my marbles,  and all accounted for,  Just because I get confused,  and can't find the floor.

For I intend to keep them here,  with their colours in array,  Until the time has come for me,  to join you there one day. So in the age of senility,  they remain within my mind,  And I will make the most of them,  while I am still alive!

© Christina 4th September, 2004

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The Age Of Wisdom

They say with age comes wisdom,

That they make a likely pair,

That when a proper age is reached,

Wisdom should be there.

Tell me, when will wisdom show?

When will enlightenment take place?

I wonder if it's really true

Age is more than lavender and lace.

I want to be prepared for it,

I want to know when I am wise,

So I can sit with chin in hand,

To make sage comments and advise.

Perhaps a furrow in my brow

Will show I'm deep in thought,

Or a distant look within my eyes

Will reveal I think a lot.

I'd like to utter profound words,

That people will write down,

And quote to one another,

Preferably before I'm gone.

I have learned, as I grow older,

My poor brain is quite a joke,

Though, when I was in my teens,

I knew more than both my folks.

This wisdom thing is backwards,

I knew much more when I was young,

There was nothing one could tell me then.

So how come now I feel so dumb?

As it is, I can't remember

All the things I know I should,

Though I always say, "Gesundheit,"

And I always knock on wood.

But why I do or say those things,

I'll admit I have forgot,

They happen automatically,

Without a bit of thought.

I wish I could be really wise,

And grow ever wiser as I age,

I'd like to be like Solomon,

And make decisions that amaze.

But now it's even difficult

Deciding what to have for dinner,

Would Solomon pick pizza pie?

If so, then I might be a winner.

To understand life's mysteries

Is every human's goal,

But, you know, I still don't have a clue,

Even though I am so old.

I doubt I'll ever figure out

Just how a clock keeps time,

Or how a light switch turns on lights,

Or what makes a doorbell chime.

See, the simplest things still puzzle me,

Though I accept them without question,

But before I go, I'd like to know

About this age and mind connection.

The elderly have lots of losses,

Can wisdom replace those?

Or is wisdom just a word that's used,

To appease those older souls?

But if, and when, wisdom does set in,

At what vast age must someone be?

I wonder if I've reached it yet,

For I have learned to laugh at me.

Virginia (Ginny) Ellis

November 2004

 

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The PErfect MAn

Oh Myrtle look what I have here
I've found Mr Right,
So perfect I just know he is
that it's love at first sight!

After all these years of searching
what I have been looking for
Is a man who knows his place
or otherwise it's war.


A man who will not interrupt
who'll let me have my say
And when the time comes round to shop
he won't go astray.

He never minds how much I spend
he puts no limits on
The credit cards at his expense,
oh how can I go wrong?


When friends drop in for a chat
he'll go make the tea
Waiting on us hand and foot,
he does all this for me!

And when the bills are coming in
no matter what the cost
He understands my luxuries
without them I'd be lost.


Even when I am on the phone
calling long distance
It never matters, he does not complain,
just worships my existence.

And then when I start to spread my thighs
and put on a little weight
He'll still love me even though
I may look a state!


I'll never have to worry about male wandering eyes
Because they will always be for me,
what, is that such a surprise?

Oh, what are you looking at?
I know you're envious,
I'm sorry but I found him first
I really have been blest!


Take your eyes off his pecks
this is my perfect man!
As my friend I thought somehow
that you would understand.

Now don't you look at me like that
it isn't that crazy;
Just think, one wouldn't have to worry 'bout
a man who is lazy.


He will be the perfect hubby
I know this love will last,
And even when things are out of place
he will never fuss.

So what do you think, Myrtle
is it meant to be?
A marriage made in heaven
between this man and me.

© Christina
1st April, 2004

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When I'm an Old Lady and Live With My Kids

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid, and bring so much happiness, just as they did. I want to pay back all the joy they've provided. Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues, and I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach, I'll get into things like sugar and bleach. Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head, and when that is done, I'll hide under the bed!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat, I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat, I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, and when they get angry, I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

I'll sit close to the TV, I'll click through the channels, I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick. I'll take off my socks and throw one away, and play in the mud till the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes. My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, and say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

Author: May Baker Winkel

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Irish Medical Dictionary

ARTERY	The Study of Paintings
BACTERIA	Back Door of a Cafeteria
BARIUM	What Doctors Do When Patients Die
BOWEL	A Letter Like A. E. I. 0 or U.
CAESARIAN SECTION	A Neighbourhood in Rome
CAT SCAN	Searching for Kitty
CAUTERISE	Made Eye-Contact With Her
COMA	A Punctuation Mark
D & C	Where Washington Is
DILATE	To Live Longer
ENEMA	Not A Friend
FESTER	Quicker
FIBULA	A Small Lie
GENITAL	Not A Jew
G. I. SERIES	A Soldier Ballgame
HANGNAIL	Coat Hook
IMPOTENT	Distinguished, Well-Known
LABOUR PAIN	Getting Hurt At Work
MEDICAL STAFF	Doctors Cane
MORBID	A Higher Offer
NITRATES	Cheaper Than Day Rates
NODE	Was Aware Of
OUTPATIENT	A Person Who Has Fainted
PAP SMEAR	A Fatherhood Test
PELVIS	A Cousin To Elvis
RECOVERY ROOM	Place To Do Upholstery
RECTUM	Bloody Near Killed Them
SECRETION	Hiding Something
SEIZURE	Roman Emperor
TABLET	A Small Table
TERMINAL ILLNESS	Getting Sick At The Airport
TUMOUR	More Than One
URINE	Opposite Of You're Out
VARICOSE	Nearby
VEIN	Conceited

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Teddy Bear Lessons

Lessons Learned From My Teddy Bear: 

Everyone has a soft spot

Bear Hugs make the friendliest greetings

Happiness can be found within the "bear necessories"

Hugs are even better than chocolate.

There's no such thing as too many kisses.

One good cuddle can change a grumpy day.

Love is supposed to wear out your fur a little.

It's okay to let your inside stuffing show now and then!

Listening is as important as talking.

A true Friend can bear your faults.

Someone's got to keep their eyes open all the time.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Everyone needs someone to hold on to.

~ Author Unknown ~

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