Your Fly Is Open - National Zipper Day

National Zipper Day commemorates April 29, 1913, when the patent for the modern zipper was issued. The day celebrates something that we often do not think about and may automatically take for granted.

Top 20 ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"

20) The cucumber has left the salad.

19) I can see the gun of Navarone.

18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

17) You've got Windows in your laptop.

16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.

15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!

7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!

5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."

4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...

3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY

TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...

1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.

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Do Magick Spells Really Work

Disclaimer- this content is for entertainment only but makes for a good read and something to think about. I my opinion Magic Spells are explored and a simple way to use them everyday.

Do Not Ruin Your Day - Life Lesson Quotes

“‎Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning... Anyone can start over and make a new ending.”

Your irritation will not solve any problem.

Their setbacks do not alter the nature of things.

Your bad mood does not change life.

Your pain will not prevent the sun from shining tomorrow on the good and the bad.

Your sadness will not light the way.

Your discouragement will not build anyone.

Your tears are no substitute for the sweat you must shed for your own happiness.

Your complaints, even though effective, will never add a gram of sympathy to you in others .

Do not ruin your day.

Learn, with Divine Wisdom, to excuse infinitely, building and rebuilding for the infinite good.

Psychography of Francisco C. Xavier

“Take responsibility of your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Don't Just

Don't just learn, experience.
Don't just read, absorb.
Don't just change, transform.
Don't just relate, advocate.
Don't just promise, prove.
Don't just criticize, encourage.
Don't just think, ponder.
Don't just take, give.
Don't just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don't just hear, listen.
Don't just talk, act.
Don't just tell, show.
Don't just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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My Wish For You

For all The High School Graduates... My Wish For You My Wish For You I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow, and each road leads you where you wanna go, and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window, if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile. But more than anything, more than anything... My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish. I hope you never look back, but you never forget, all the ones who love you, in the place you left, I hope you always forgive, and you never regret, and you help somebody every chance you get, Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake, and always give more than you take. But More than anything, yeah, more than anything... My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah. My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish. My Wish - Rascal Flatts

       

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We're never lost if we can find each other.

If you need help, or can offer it, visit our support hub: www.facebook.com/covidsupport

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Gonna Be A Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2011/12 was going to be cold or mild. The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter. However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.
'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief. Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'

A few examples according to folklore:

1. Thicker-Than-Normal Onions or Corn Husks.
2. Heavy and Numerous Fogs During August.
3. Woodpeckers Sharing a Tree....
...Find more folklore from the Farmer's Almanac | 20 signs of a hard winter

Plus  Amazing  Wood Pile Art Pictures  That Proves Anything Can Be Beautiful

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Pa's Model "A"

Well, Ma was cannin' fruit one year, and needed bottle lids.
So she hopped in Pa’s old Model ‘A’, with me and seven kids.
Well we headed out to Goshen Town, about three miles away.
We headed down a one lane road, in Pa’s old model ‘A’.
After we gone a mile, we saw old Liza Dunn,
A walking to the grocery store, in the mean ol' summer sun.


So Ma pulled up to Liza, and offered her a ride.
And Liza hopped the runnin’ board, 'cause us kids was packed inside.
Well it wasn’t long until we reached, the top of Lenard's Hill,
And the Model ‘A’ lost all its brakes, and Lord we got a thrill!
We headed down old Lenard's Hill, a bouncin’ all about!
Old Liza stuck her head inside, but her rear was hanging out.


Then Liza screamed inside my ear, then I could hear her pray;
'Cause coming up that one lane road, was a load of third crop hay!
Oh how I wish that I was sleepin’, and this was just a dream,
When I saw old Tom Jackson, a pullin’ on his team!
I heard old Liza screamin’, in that squeaky voice of hers!
'Cause her rump was beatin' bushes, and catchin' cockle burrs.


Well how Ma missed that load of hay, no one will ever know.
'Cause Ma turned loose of that steerin' wheel, and let that old Ford go!
Well the Model ‘A’ kept bouncin’, to the bottom of the hill.
And if it wasn’t for the duck pond, Well we’d be bouncin still!
Then the ol' Ford made a sudden stop, and Liza Dunn turned loose.
She flew out in the duck pond, and landed on a Goose.


Ol' Liza wasn’t hurt too bad, except that pride of hers.
'Cause her clothes and hair was packed with mud, and mean old cockle-burrs.
But our day wasn’t wasted, and that night we had some fun.
When Ma cooked up that old gray goose, that was killed by Liza Dunn.
Well I’ve had some wild rides, but I won’t forget the day.
When ma went after bottle lids, in pa’s old Model ‘A’.

By Floyd A. Jensen, The Utah Cowboy
Copyright © January 1978

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Etiquette Guide For Rednecks

 Everyone lives by a certain set of rules and standards. Here is a complilation of proper manners that rednecks might follow in order to stay inline with the main stream public.

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT 

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. 

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. 

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME 

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are. 

PERSONAL HYGIENE 

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. 

DATING (Outside the Family) 

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. 

THEATER ETIQUETTE 

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended. 

2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. 

WEDDINGS 

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. 

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. 

DRIVING ETIQUETTE 

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. 

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Random Thoughts

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies; they would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

Stress reducer; Put a bag on your head. Mark it "closed for remodeling". *Caution - leave air holes.

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.

I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes.

It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.

Age is important only if you're cheese.

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.

Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Author Unknown 

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