Fun Historical Facts


The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

 

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

 

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”

 

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

 

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. That posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence. Maybe the phrase “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying “dirt poor.”

 

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a “thresh hold.”

 

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”

 

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man “could bring home the bacon. “They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”

 

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

 

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or “upper crust.”

 

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a “wake.”

 

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.” But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot; they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.

 

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a “bone-house” and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard shift” to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be “saved by the bell” or was considered a “dead ringer.”

 

... And that’s the truth. Whoever said that History was boring?

Author Unknown

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The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things...

Getting Older — My Foot!

Getting Older my foot….perpetually aging sounds better


— I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

— Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

— The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

— Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.” “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?

— I’ve sure gotten old.! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

— A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.” “Sir,” replied the doctor, “you’re 97 Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?” “You’re damned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it lowered!”

— An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. “Wal-Mart?” the preacher exclaimed. “Why Wal-Mart?” “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week .”

— My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

— Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

— I’ve still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

— I’m getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

— It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

— These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief.”

— I’ve tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven’t made one called “Buns of Putty.”

— Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

— Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.!

— Remember: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
 

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Getting Older my foot….perpetually aging sounds better — I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permiss...

"Confucius Say" Fortunes


Of course these "fortunes" are meant to be entertaining, but I feel that Confucius would agree that they still offer good advice. Bake up a batch of cookies using the recipe from Lil Luna or TheSpruceEats. Cut apart and put a fortune in each cookie. Confucius say: Man who drive like h*## bound to get there. 
Confucius say: Man who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet get high on pot.
Confucius say: Man who run in front of car get tired.
Confucius say: Man who want pretty nurse got to be patient.
Confucius say: Man who sit on tack get point.
Confucius say: Man with unchecked parachute likely to jump to conclusion.
Confucius say: Wise man get clean in hot water.
Confucius say: Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say: Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Confucius say: Man who guess woman's age may be smart, but not very bright.
Confucius say: Man who throws dirt loses ground.
Confucius say: Man who plow straight furrow fall in rut.
Confucius say: Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Confucius say: Wise man never eat yellow snow.
Confucius say: Naked man fears no pick pocket.
Confucius say: Bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Confucius say: Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confucius say: Man who shoot off mouth bound to lose face.
Confucius say: Woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink
Confucius say: Man who jump through screen door likely to strain himself.
Confucius say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Confucius say: Man who tells one too many light bulb joke soon burn out.
Confucius say: Man who live in glass house should change in base-ment.
Confucius say: Man who keep nose to grindstone end up with pointy nose.
Confucius say: Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon.
Confucius say: Man who cook carrots and peas in same pot not eat from pot.
Confucius say: Wise man make sure words touch wisdom tooth on way out of mouth.
Confucius say: Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius say: Man who listen for train with head on track likely to get splitting headache.

  • Source:Collection 1972-Present by Shirley T@CraftSayings.com


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    Copyright © 2015 - IcqGreetings4U

    Of course these "fortunes" are meant to be entertaining, but I feel that Confucius would agree that they still offer good advi...

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