The Birthday Cake

Ah such a culinary delight
So delicious in my sight,
A layered cake in all its tiers
To hold the candles of my years!

Baked with love and pleasure for
The very one who has adorned
Cream and trim with candlelight
Burning on its peak so bright.

Layer upon layer upon layer of love
Towering to a place above
In celebration I did bake
My own delicious birthday cake!

No longer do I have to stop
And no more calories do I watch
For my figure that had once been trim
Is merely but a memory dim.

At my age I can now replace
All those calories gone to waste
And I can gorge myself with glee
For now there's no one else to see.

This birthday cake which holds the light
Of all the candles burning bright
Is all but mine beyond compare
That I will never have to share.

Delicious I know it will be
This cake I have made just for me
It no longer matters where it goes
'Cause I only now wear baggy clothes!

Happy birthday to me, I say,
It has been such a splendid day,
And as I devour with a sigh
The cake that will end up on my thighs!

© Christina September 21st, 2004

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Lessons Learned While Fishing

Since our fishing opener is this weekend here in Central mn... 
I Figured I'd add in a few Lessons Learned while fishing

All I Need To Know About Life
I Learned From Fishing

• There is no such thing as too much equipment.
• When in doubt, exaggerate.
• If it feels good, it's fishing.
• Everyone has a story about the one that got away.
• It's good to be at the top of the food chain.
• Even the best lines get weak after they've been used a few times.
• Sometimes you've really got to squirm to get off the hook.
• Cast everything in the best light possible.
• Keep one eye on your bobber at all times.
• Life is a stream of consciousness thing.
• Take time to smell the fishes.
• I fish therefore I am.
• The way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.
• You never forget your first bite.
• A fishing line has a hook at one end and an optimist at the other.
• Fish always start to grow after they get away.
• Life is a can of worms.
• The fishing is always better on the other side of the lake.
• Good things come to those who wade.
• When the going gets tough, the tough go fishing.

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Lessons From Mom

My mother taught me
LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck,
you can't go to the store with me."

My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE...
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me about
WEATHER...
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me
RELIGION....
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY...
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me
MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
they're going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me about my
ROOTS...
"Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me
TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test,
you'll never get a good job!"

My mother taught me
IRONY...
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me
ESP...
"Put your sweater on!
Don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me
FORESIGHT...
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me
TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking?
"Answer me when I talk to you."
and "Don't talk back to me!"

My mother taught me about
STAMINA...
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me
HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM...
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me how to
BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS...
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me
ABOUT SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me
WISDOM...
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL...
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me about
GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

And my favorite:
my mother taught me about
JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids,
and I hope they turn out just like you!"

And she thought no one was listening!

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Maxine's take on leprechauns

Maxine takes on the leprechauns & is going green for the day.

Created 2017 LazsRealm Enjoy http://www168.lunapic.com/editor/    250x320   http://slideful.com/
Maxine's St.Patty's Day Song

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A Farmers Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Live a good, honorable life.
Then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a
whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Most of the stuff people worry about
ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

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Put Your Best Foot Forward

Got Lost on YouTube again and came across this - Too Funny 

Lessons Learned From Noah's Ark

Never miss the boat.

  Build on high ground.

  For safety's sake,
 always travel in pairs.

  Two heads are
 better than one.

  If you can't fight
 or flee -- float!

  Don't forget that 
we're all in the same boat.

  Stay below deck during the storm.

  Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.

  Speed isn't always an advantage.
The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.

  Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.

  Remember that the ark was built by amateurs 
and the Titanic was built by professionals.

  Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

  When the doo-doo gets really deep, 
don't sit there and complain --shovel!!!

  If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.

  Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE 
are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.

  No matter how bleak it looks, 
there's always a rainbow on the other side.

  Stay fit. When you're 600 years old,
 someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.

  "Stop what you are doing, and do what God says!"

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Fine Dining

1. MANKIND IS DIVIDED INTO TWO CLASSES: THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR FOOD, AND THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR APPETITE. 

2. THE BEST WAY TO SERVE LEFTOVERS IS TO SOMEONE ELSE. 

3. A NICKEL WILL GET YOU ON THE SUBWAY, BUT GARLIC WILL GET YOU A SEAT. 

4. THE BEST THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT GRAVY IS THAT IS HAS NO BONES. 

5. "I AM A VERY PICKY EATER. I ONLY LIKE ONE THING... FOOD!!! 

6. IT ISN'T THE TRAVEL THAT'S BROADENING... IT'S ALL THAT RICH FOREIGN FOOD. 

7. THE ONLY FOOD THAT NEVER GOES UP IN PRICE IS FOOD FOR THOUGHT. 

8. CONVENIENCE FOOD IS ANYTHING THAT'S AT THE FRONT OF THE REFRIGERATOR. 

9. MEALTIME IS WHEN THE KIDS SIT DOWN TO CONTINUE EATING. 

10. THE TROUBLE WITH BUYING HEALTH FOOD IS THAT ITS HIGH PRICE REALLY MAKES YOU SICK.

11. APPETIZERS ARE LITTLE THINGS YOU EAT UNTIL YOU LOSE YOUR APPETITE.

12. EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY, FOR TOMORROW WE DIET.

13. THE BEST THING FOR A PERSON ON A DIET TO EAT IS LESS.

14. BOOKS FOR COOKS: ITALIAN FOOD by ANN CHOVY, MINNIE STRONI, LIZ ANYA and LYNN GUINI

15. Books For Cooks: ITALIAN FOOD by ANN CHOVY, MINNIE STRONI, LIZ ANYA and LYNN GUINI

16. Food Joke: NAME THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS.

A: FAST, FROZEN, JUNK AND INSTANT.

17. Kitchen sign: THE EARLY BIRD COOKS HIS OWN BREAKFAST

18. Food Riddle: WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A THOUSAND YEARS WITH A THOUSAND CHOCOLATE CAKES?

A: THE START OF A NEW MILLENNI-YUM-YUM 

19. Book: NO MORE LEFTOVERS by M.T. POTTS

20. Foodie: HE'LL EAT ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T EAT HIM FIRST.

21. Crazy: HE'S TWO SANDWICHES SHORT OF A PICNIC.

ALSO SEE MY RECIPE BLOG
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Life Lessons From A Pig

It's smart to keep a little something in the piggy bank for the future Wallow while you may

 Live high on the hog
Never squeal on your friends
When the world gives you slop, pig out
Don't get too much exercise

Go "wee wee wee" all the way home
Don't let anybody bust your chops

Take time to stop and smell the mud

Don’t forget to take a dip now and then…
Don't boar people with the same old lines all the time

 Pink is beautiful
Pigtails are always in style
You reap what you sow

Tall tails are fun, but curly ones are even better

Don’t be afraid to get a little dirty now and then…
It's okay to squeal with delight

Ham it up!  

Pig Ponderings
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock? Would a small pig be called a hamlet? Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn? Why can't pigs look up into the sky? Why do pigs have curly tails? If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?

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Life is Simply Purrfect

~*~ Lessons Learned From Our Cats  ~*~

As Pet Parents, we all know that our 4-Legged Kids can teach us so much about life. Here are a few lessons that our Feline Kids can teach us.

1…When life gets hard, take a nap.


2…Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.


3…Variety is the spice of life–one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.


4…Climb your way to the top–that’s why the drapes are there.


5…Never sleep alone when you can snuggle with someone.


6…Make your mark on the world–or at least spray in each corner.


7…Always give generously–a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, “I’m thinking of you.”


8…Speak up when you want something, or anytime you just feel like speaking up.


9…Use your claws when you need them, but put them away when you don’t.


10…Choose wisely who you let get close to you, let alone put their hands on you. You don’t have to let somebody touch you if you don’t want them to.

Lesson 1: Never Underestimate the Value Of A Good Nap...
Cats know the value of sleep and the art of getting good z's. Chances are, your cat will also tell you that you're probably not getting enough.

Lesson 2: Attitude Is Everything ...
Cats embrace their natural gifts because they know this: a little swagger is okay if you can back it up.

Lesson 3: Groom Well....
Grooming is about health, comfort, and how you present yourself to the world. Cats spend up to one-third of their waking lives cleaning themselves

Lesson 4: People Love Positive Feedback...
Cats must know that most people are not experts at most things -- especially at pleasing cats. We therefore need their feedback, right?

Lesson 5: Catnip Can Make You Do Foolish Things...
Even the coolest of cats can lose all composure around catnip

Lesson 6: Have A Mind Of Your Own...
Cats are famously independent and curious creatures.

Lesson 7: Never Settle For Less Than You Deserve ...
Cats still see themselves as gods in fur coats, so they have high expectations. Getting us humans to comply with their requests takes hard work. That's were goal-setting comes in.

Lesson 8: Live Like You're On Your Ninth Life...
Cats may have nine lives, but humans have just one, so make yours count.

and most of all .... Play hard. Lay in the sunshine. Listen to the birds sing. Yawn like you mean it. Speak up when you have something to say.

Stretch because it feels great. Drink out of the faucet if you want. Let someone scratch your back. Love deeply. And never forget where you came from.

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Puppy Lessons

Stop on over at my wordpress blog and see whats new over there also.... I think i still blogger tho:) I posted " What we can learn from a Dog" over there just to see if it is any different with wordpress and was not impressed :) So sticking here.
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Sunshiny Day

turn on your sound - please

Watch Here if video below does not play

I Can See Clearly Now Music Video by lori-ann2

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Be Hoppy

Don't Worry, Be Hoppy

Good morning, little munchikin,
and how are we today?
Don't mind me, it's breakfast
but you're welcome anyway.

What brings you here this morning
with such downcast eyes,
Don't tell me that you're saddened
by my meal of dragonflies?!

No? Ah, well that is good then
so what is troubling you,
Normally you're so cheerful
but you're positively blue!

Come and sit here, munchikin,
and tell us of your woes
Then we'll take you to a far off place
where ever you wish to go!

Life is but experience
you don't want to chuck it in,
For there's so much to do and see
where is it you begin?

Happiness is something
that is a state of mind
You choose and you control it,
your path is your design.

But if you sit here moping
about all that has gone wrong,
You're giving THEM the power
which to control you from.

So there's no need to worry
my little munchikin
Just pack up all those troubles
and let your life begin!

You've so much going for you
you'll no longer need this dream
Don't worry, just be hoppy
and you'll see what I mean.

So goodbye little munchikin
go back where you belong
And take with you the hoppiness
you gained here by the pond.

© Christina
-Poetry From The Heart-

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Interacting Daily Goodies

more Funny Quotes



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Life's Lesson From A Dog

::Puppy Luv::

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them

4. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.

5. Enjoy it when someone wants to rub your tummy

6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

7. Run, romp, and play daily.

8. Be loyal.

9. Never pretend to be something you're not.

10. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

11.When someone is having a bad day, be silent,
sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

12. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

16. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

17. No matter how often you are criticized, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout.

18. Run right back and make friends.

©John Lund, Artist

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GoodBye GrandDad

Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime,
He never had a day off crook - gone before his time,
We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,
A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet,

The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,
The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.
There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,
Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,


No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt,
When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,
'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,
'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.’


'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,
And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,
So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,
They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.


Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,
And I couldn't see a hole that deep go to flamin' waste,
So I moved the dunny over it - a real smart move I thought,
I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.


The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,
But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,
Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know,
The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go.


So you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash--
Well, he always used to hold his breath - Until he heard the splash!!

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The Joy Of Sox

CAN THE HUMAN RACE SURVIVE WITHOUT SOX ?

THIS IS A QUESTION THAT CANNOT BE ANSWERED!

MANKIND FOR YEARS HAS NEVER TRIED TO SURVIVE WITHOUT SOX.

MEN AND WOMEN HAVE BEEN WRAPPED UP IN SOX
SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED SOX ?

CHECK YOUR DRAWERS!
IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU REALLY NEED SOX,GO FOR IT!

SOME PEOPLE DONT EVEN BOTHER CHECKING THEIR DRAWERS.
THEY GO AFTER SOX ANYTIME THE URGE STRIKES.

REMEMBER THO THAT SOX IS NATURAL.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IMPULSIVE SOX FULFILLMENT!

BEFORE YOU SHARE SOX WITH SOMEONE,
DO YOU NEED TO BE IN LOVE ?

NO! BUT YOU SHOULD AT LEAST BE
GOOD FRIENDS AND LIKE EACH OTHER.

SHARING SOX IS A VERY CLOSE INTIMATE EXPERIENCE
AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN LIGHTLY!

WHO NEEDS SOX MORE... MEN OR WOMEN ?

FOR MANY YEARS IT WAS THOUGHT THAT MEN
NEED SOX MORE THAN WOMEN.

 
THIS IS A FALLACY! 

WOMEN ENJOY SOX EVERY BIT AS MUCH AS MEN.

HOW OFTEN DO I NEED SOX ?

MOST PEOPLE ENJOY SOX ONCE A DAY
BUT EVERYONE AGREES...
THAT SOX ONCE A WEEK IS A MUST !

HOW CAN I MAKE SOX LAST LONGER ?

BE VERY GENTLE...
NEVER EVER TWIST, WRING,
OR USE HOT WATER,
AND NEVER PINCH WITH A CLOTHESPIN.

CAN A COMPUTER SERVICE HELP ME FIND MY SOX MATE ?

ONLY IF YOU DO NOT LIE ABOUT YOUR
"SIZE" AND "SHAPE"!

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE ALL THE
SOX YOU WANT AND DESIRE!

The Joy of Sox 1977 by Alice Joyce Davidson

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Thee Ol' Shanty

One of my bygone recollections
As I recall the days of yore
Is the little house, behind the house,
With the crescent over the door.

'Twas a place to sit and ponder
With your head bowed down low;
Knowing that you wouldn't be there,
If you didn't have to go.


Ours was a three-holer,
With a size for every one.
You left there feeling better,
After your usual job was done.

You had to make these frequent trips
Whether snow, rain, sleet, or fog
To the little house where you usually
Found the Sears-Roebuck catalog.


Oft times in dead of winter,
The seat was covered with snow.
'Twas then with much reluctance,
To the little house you'd go.

With a swish you'd clear the seat,
Bend low, with dreadful fear
You'd blink your eyes and grit your teeth
As you settled on your rear.


I recall the day Grandpa,
who stayed with us one summer
Made a trip to the shanty
Which proved to be a hummer.

'Twas the same day my Dad
Finished painting the kitchen green.
He'd just cleaned up the mess he made
With rags and gasoline.


He tossed the rags in the shanty hole
And went on his usual way
Not knowing that by doing so
He would eventually ruin the day.

Now Grandpa had an urgent call,
I never will forget!!!
This trip he made to the little house
Lingers in my memory yet.


He sat down on the shanty seat,
With both feet on the floor.
Then filled his pipe with tobacco
And struck a match on the outhouse door.

After the Tobacco began to glow,
He slowly raised his rear:
Tossed the flaming match in the open hole,
with no sign of fear.

The Blast that followed, I am sure
Was heard for miles around;
And there was poor ol' Grandpa
just sitting on the ground.

The smoldering pipe was still in his mouth,
His suspenders he held tight;
The celebrated three-holer
Was blown clear out of sight.


When we asked him what had happened,
His answer I'll never forget.
He thought it must be something
That he had recently et!

Next day we had a new one
Which my Dad built with ease.
With a sign on the entrance door
Which read: No Smoking, Please!


Now that's the end of the story,
With memories of long ago,
Of the little house, behind the house
Where we went cause we had to go!

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